5 Tips To Be Relaxed On A First Date

Dating and relaxing could not be more opposite. It sounds weird even using them in the same sentence because they so rarely go hand in hand, but it is possible to learn how to be relaxed on a date. Whenever you head out on a date and feel nervous, it is completely normal. What else is normal? When you text your friends about your date about how nervous you are, and they tell you to relax.

But what isn’t normal is actually relaxing when someone tells you to relax. Feeling relaxed on a date is like feeling relaxed on a job interview. It sounds impossible. Whether you’re dating for fun or to meet your person, you want to be on your best behavior. Being relaxed when you have to be “ON” isn’t easy.

When I was single, even the prospect of a date would make me anxious. I would overthink every day leading up to it. I would spend hours picking an outfit that was equally as cute as it was comfortable. Then, I would vent to friends about my nerves and regret it because talking to them just made me think about it even more.

# Stay busy before

If you know you’ll overthink every detail about the date leading up to it, then don’t let yourself. Stay busy from when you plan the date until it happens.

Let a friend know about it, but don’t dwell. Pick out your outfit ahead of time and leave it at that until the day of. Worrying about the date is what makes it feel so much more important than it is.

# Change how you think of dates

If you are looking for your one true love through dating, it can be hard to turn off that desire. You don’t want to waste your time with someone you know you won’t like. But you also don’t want to go on a first date worrying about what school you’ll send your future kids to.

Instead of thinking of dating as a means to an end, think about it as an experience. Actually have fun instead of focusing on where things are going. For at least the first three to five dates, don’t worry about the future. Simply enjoy your experience with this person.

# Reason with yourself

If you’re all about being rational, this will help you. When you’re nervous, you aren’t yourself. If you go on a date feeling nervous, you’ll likely hold back. That means your fear of rejection is moot because your date wouldn’t be rejecting you but this nervous version of you.

This also means that if you make a connection, they also aren’t getting to know the real you. Remind yourself that you’re at your best when relaxed and want to date someone who enjoys your company when you feel at ease.

# Give yourself time

Before the date, give yourself time to unwind. Take your time getting ready and enjoy each step of your routine. Do what makes you feel relaxed. Watch reruns of your favorite sitcom, take a walk, go for a jog *then take a shower*. Create a pre-date routine that helps you release your nerves and enter the date feeling calm.

# There is no perfect date

No matter how many rom-coms you’ve seen, there is no such thing as the perfect date. You may have something planned or expected, but even with the best of intentions, sometimes things don’t work out.

If you go in expecting to meet your soulmate or have fireworks go off when you kiss, you will not only likely be disappointed at the end of the night, but you’ll also work yourself up. Building up the date before it even happens will stress you out to no end.