5 Tips To Have Improved Saas Bahu Relationship

In the Indian context, a man sometimes continues to live in his parent’s home after marriage; if he takes a separate apartment, it’s often close to where his parents live. The age-old Indian mentality dictated that the man had the responsibility of his parents while his wife broke off with hers. The DIL hence, has to make many more sacrifices and adjustments after her marriage. She has to learn to live in a new home among new people all over again. She has to get used to new routines and new expectations well into her adult life, which isn’t easy at all. Living with a man brings its own challenges, as any woman will attest. Every woman realises after marriage that there’s much more to her husband than what she perceived while they were dating or in their engagement period. Her in-laws attitudes may also change. Even in this day and age of equal marital responsibilities, the woman is still expected to do more around the house while balancing her job, kids and other community responsibilities.

* Go out on a DATE

DILs and MILs, invite the other for some special MIL-DIL time together. Go catch a movie together, have brunch, buy each other gifts or just go on a shopping spree together. Maybe go to your local Marian Shrine and pray together. There are any number of things that you’ll could do, but most of all this time spent together will help strengthen your relationship and help you to understand each other better.

* Learn to let go

Even though its heart-wrenching and difficult, MILs, learn to let go playing an active role in your son’s day to day routines and decisions. Understand that you do not lose your son when he gets married. He stills feels the same amount of respect and love for you and will be there for you when you need him. But the young couple need their space and time to set the course of their own life. Gently offer advice from time to time, but leave it to them to accept it or not. Even if you feel that the youngsters are making mistakes in managing their home, children or finances, be prudent in giving unsolicited advice. Don’t expect them to do things as you did. Let them make their own mistakes and learn from them.

* Learn from experience

DILs, learn to listen to what your MILs have to say in a constructive and discerning way. Understand that she won’t want to ruin her own son’s happiness. She has gone through all the struggles that you are just beginning to, and listening to her views may just help you to avoid a lot of it. If you don’t agree with something, you are free to follow your own course. Youth never trumps experience!

* No complaining

Do not frequently complain or say negative things about your DIL or MIL to the common man between you’ll. It just worsens the situation and there is nothing to gain from it. Of course, if you are accused of something, you do have the right to defend yourself. A man loves both his mother and wife, and he rarely likes to hear something negative about them.

* Cooperation, not Competition

The relationship between parents and the new home should no longer be one of expected obedience, but of warm cooperation, in which each respect the independence and ideas of the other. There cannot be the same closeness of association, the same amount of attention parents have formerly enjoyed, for their children now have other responsibilities which must claim their time and attention.