5 Tips To Keep In Mind When Finding Love After Divorce

Divorce can leave you stripped of several things – your sense of self-worth, confidence, future plans, dreams, finances, love, forgiveness, hope, tolerance and so much more. Which is why it makes a lot of sense to be open to looking for help. Help can take the form of educating oneself through reading and listening to experts. It can also look like listening to the experiences of other people who have successfully navigated through the same trenches in this battlefield.

Listening to inspirational true stories on relationships that reestablish your faith in love, and true finding love after divorce stories may offer you a feeling of community. It will make you feel understood and have your fears acknowledged. Listening to experts will give you an objective insight into the crisis that led to your divorce and provide invaluable lessons that you can take with you to your next relationship. A good divorce counselor will hold your hand and guide you through the storm of emotions you have been subjected to deal with alone.

# Are you ready to find love after divorce?

It is often seen that the first instinct that comes as a result of a divorce or breakup from a long-term committed relationship is trying to jump back into a new relationship. This could be an attempt at dealing with loneliness. This could also be driven by the desire to make your ex jealous.

You must self-introspect. Instead of getting carried away or trying to prove to your ex or to yourself that you can move on, first do a small self-check. Ask yourself, “Am I truly ready for a new relationship?” How soon can you start dating, you ask? Start dating only if you feel ready.

# Take it slow

Once you have evaluated your emotions, you may find yourself in a better place. You may find that you are indeed ready to trust someone again and share your love with them. You might even feel excited at the prospect of dating again.

You may not know it, but you may be looking for validation from this new relationship. You may subconsciously feel pressurized to make this new relationship work at any cost, even ignoring red flags that should send you running and erasing healthy boundaries. On the other hand, you may subconsciously feel inclined to sabotage a perfectly good relationship.

# Learn from past mistakes

It is easy to look at your divorce and think of your old relationship as failure. But an old relationship is just that – an old relationship. The mistakes you made are all part of the process of growth of your personality. They add to your resilience and spiritual growth as well. They give you better odds of finding love after divorce.

It may help immensely to look at the past as a learning experience. Under the guidance of a counselor, one may learn to objectively look at the past, look for the mistakes that were made and treat them as lessons.

# Have healthy boundaries

The prospect of finding love after divorce may get you excited about jumping back into the dating pool. It may also get you in a state of desperation. It is often seen that people tend to think that their odds of finding love after divorce are low. This insecurity forces them to bend all sorts of ways to get the relationship to work.

# Work on yourself before finding love after divorce

Divorce or a breakup can be an opportunity to gather all the new-found time and space in your life and invest it in your personal growth. Before worrying about how to grow in a relationship, worry about self-healing. Before worrying about finding love after divorce, you must put your mental energy into self-improvement. Again, a skilled therapist may help you recognize issues that may need your immediate attention. Alternatively, mindfulness practices such as journaling and meditation may provide you an insight into your own issues.