5 Tips To Stay Confident When Flirting

Flirting may or may not come naturally for some. So, here’s how to overcome your nerves and learn how to be confident when flirting.

People talk about flirting as if it just happens naturally. But if you’ve ever wanted to know how to be confident when flirting with a stranger, you know that organic is not how it would be described. Flirting can be awkward, and it usually is. You want to seem confident and clever but things come off as nervous and confusing.

Whether you struggle with confidence or not regularly, there is something about flirting that makes all those nerves rise to the surface. You may have thought about flirting with your cute coworker and had the best opening line but when you actually head over to try it out, you can barely tie two words together.

Although this is totally normal, you want to be confident when flirting. You want to make the other person comfortable with you, and in order to do that you need to be comfortable with yourself.

# Give yourself a pep talk

I know this seems cheesy, but our minds tend to remind us of our biggest insecurities when we’re nervous. When you are about to go introduce yourself to someone, you are thinking about your breath, your snorting laugh, and other things you’re self-conscious about. Instead, remind yourself of what you have to offer. You are funny and smart and attractive. This person will be happy to get attention from you. This person is not aware of your nerves. Looking at yourself through your best qualities and what you’re proud of is key. You don’t want to go up to someone to flirt while thinking about something negative. Think about how you felt when you got that promotion or signed your first lease. Use those moments to enter into flirting.

# Be unavailable in your mind

I know this sounds like a game, but hear me out. When you’re in a relationship, you are hit on more than ever before. This is because you aren’t available. You aren’t looking for anyone to flirt with. You are happy and happiness increases confidence.

When you’re happy, people want to be around you. They want your happiness and confidence to rub off on them. They aren’t seeing someone who is second-guessing themselves, but rather not even thinking about what others see in them.

# Remember this is just a moment

Flirting is not a relationship. It will not define you. It will pass. Whatever fears you have, this person is unaware of them. You are thinking more about this more than they are.

Remind yourself that flirting can be a few minutes long. Whether you’re flirting with a stranger, a friend, or anyone else, it is temporary. If it is awkward or they’re in a relationship that will pass.

# Be yourself

This is probably the piece of advice that is most important when it comes to knowing how to be confident when flirting. Oftentimes we flirt with our best foot forward. That is fine, but also unnecessary. We might act like we’re more into sports than we really are or that we have traveled more than we have. It makes sense you’d want to impress the person you’re flirting with, but the best way to do that isn’t by fibbing but by owning who you are.

There is nothing more confident than being honest. When someone is talking about a band or movie you haven’t seen, don’t just say you’ve heard of it, be honest. Own those awkward moments.

# Let it flow

This is the hardest part, but it is also important. Whether you’re flirting for some fun or with the hope of getting a date, the flow is important. But, flow and chemistry are different.

You can have an easy conversation with someone about art or science but not feel chemistry right away. But flirting is about the back and forth. It is about interacting with each other and playing off each other. All you need is an opening line and from there, things should progress on their own. If they don’t that is when you start getting nervous. Don’t try to steer the conversation, let it find its own direction.