5 Tips To Stop Fighting With Your Partner

Learning how to stop fighting with your significant other is no easy task. Unfortunately, there's no simple manual or checklist. Instead, it's something you need to spend time working on, and it requires compromise from both you and your partner.

"The science is fairly clear," says Elizabeth Sloan, LPC, a Marriage Therapist in Maryland and Virginia. "Negativity drags down a relationship and positivity builds it up. When you come home to your partner at the end of the day, you want to feel a lift, like you're expecting to feel good. If there are too many arguments, you may cringe or get defensive as soon as you walk in the door. Your relationship is in a downward spiral if you feel that way often enough. You may be so hurt by the argument that you stop bothering to reach back out, make peace, and do something nice for your partner."

* Stop Swearing

Arguments and fights happen in all relationships. But one of the fundamental elements that aggravate arguments is the use of swear words and profanities. While you may have inadvertently called your boyfriend an a**h**e or called your girlfriend a bi**h in a fit of rage or while making fun of them, these words may very well stick with them. After a fight, your partner may very well be thinking aloud, "Wow she called me an a**h**e in front of everyone" or, "He says he loves me but he calls me a bi**h. How rude of him."

* Look at Old Pictures of The Two of You Together

Looking at old pictures of the both of you will ignite an emotional spark and help you remember the good times that you have spent together. It's one of the easiest stimulants that can get you to stop fighting with your significant other.

If you feel like all the two of you do is fight, put on some comfortable jammies, fix yourself a nice cup of cappuccino, play romantic music, and just lay on your bed as you flip through your precious pictures and loving memories. I promise that you'll be feeling better in no time. They will also remind you why you fell in love with them in the first place.

* Remember the Beginning of Your Relationship

Do you remember the cute little things that you did to impress your significant other before your relationship started? Yes, we are talking about all the innocent flirting, touching of hands, the long drives, the romantic dates, and so on.Think of the spark that was burning inside you and the urge you had to just hug your partner and stay in their arms all night long. This is the stuff that romantic movies are made off, and you will get a lot of goosebumps as your mind goes on a happy, little emotional roller coaster. Such warm and loving thoughts will help you mellow down. Who knew learning how to stop fighting would be some much fun?

* Try and Picture Your Life Without Them

If you really want to save your relationship and end your never-ending arguments, think about the disadvantages of living your life without your partner. No longer will you have someone to hug in the middle of the night or take care of you when you're sick. You won't have anyone to share your secrets with. Who will hold you in your arms and say, "I love you?" Who will look into your eyes and smile? Who will tolerate your idiosyncrasies and quirky little habits?

* Don't Get Defensive Right Away

It's human nature to immediately become defensive when someone accuses us of something—I get it. But it's important to take a step back and objectively look at the situation. Did you actually do something that made your significant other angry? If so, just apologize. Their feelings are valid, and they maybe have a right to be upset. And if you feel like your words or actions were justified, try explaining why you did what you did in a calm manner. Help them understand your side while still showing that you understand that they are hurt or upset.