5 Tips You Can Use For Dating A Woman With Kids

Dating a woman with kids can be an amazing experience, but it also comes with its own challenges. Single moms have a very difficult job. Whether they have one child or five, they’re responsible for another human life and that’s a great deal of pressure.

If they co-parent, at least they aren’t doing it alone, but it’s another added pressure that they then have to deal with their ex on a constant basis.

# Recognize immediately that you are not, and will never be, her first priority

You need to be okay with coming in second. Her first priority has to be her kids, regardless of whether or not she’s alone taking care of them. She is responsible for them, from the big to the small things. You cannot demand her time without understanding that her time needs to be spent with her children first.

# Don’t try to help unless you are asked to

It’s nice that you want to help take some things off your girlfriend’s plate. But you have to be very careful not to overstep any boundaries. Especially if the relationship is very new, having you around the children all the time and attempting to do things that a dad might do may upset them.

And if her kids are upset, she’s not going to be happy either because, in trying to help, you just added another stressor to her life.

# Respect her timeline

If she says that she’s not ready to introduce you to her kids, whether it’s a month into the relationship or six months in, you need to respect that. Constantly asking her when or questioning whether or not it’s a problem that you haven’t met her kids yet will put unnecessary pressure on her.

She’ll introduce you. But it’s not only about when she’s ready. It’s about when her kids are ready and only she and they know when that will be.

# Even if you haven’t met them, show an interest in them

Any proud mom likes to talk about her kids. So you’ll probably be hearing a lot about them. But don’t just wait until she volunteers that information. Ask her about them. Even more importantly, though, remember what she says about them.

It’s not enough that you remember her kids’ names. Remember the little things that might not be so little to her, like that her youngest son was struggling in math and finally got an A or that her daughter made the basketball team. It may seem like small things, but, to her, those things mean a lot because they mean a lot to her children.

# When you do meet them, get to know them in a low-pressure way

Put the ball in their court and let them get to know you on their own terms. When you talk to them, show that you take an interest in their lives. Learn about their likes and dislikes, their struggles and their accomplishments.

Don’t bombard them with questions and, if they’re only giving one-word answers, recognize that they aren’t ready to talk yet. In time, they’ll open up, but it has to be because they want to, not because you try to make them.