5 Traits That Help You Identify A Toxic Friend

Have you ever been in a relationship which just doesn’t feel right? Well a few friendships can be like that too. We all have that one friend with whom the more time you spend, the worse you feel. We are all guilty of having unhealthy friendships where instead of making things better and brighter, ‘friend(s)’ seem to be doing the reverse.

As the famous saying goes, “You cannot change the people around you; but you can change the people that you choose to be around.” If you let toxic friends linger around, you might find yourself getting more and more influenced by their behaviours and their habits every day. Generally, we tend to not find out about the toxic friends around us until they bring us some irreparable harm.

Here are 5 traits that will help you identify if you are keeping company of a toxic friend.

* They rarely make you feel good about yourself

If you really want to pick out a toxic friend in your circle, the easiest way is to point your finger at the person you find making fun of you in front of other people, or telling jokes about you to entertain the people around. The most obvious indicator of a toxic friend is that you feel inferior and insecure when they are around. If you are not careful around such people your self-esteem with take a serious beating. You can even end up seeking their approval for a sense of security as they keep feeding you with their “honest, sincere opinions,” to push you further down the spiral.

* They talk about you behind your back

This is a typically passive aggressive behaviour which toxic friends exhibit. They are forever disgruntled and rant about issues to others because they prefer creating bias against you as opposed to sorting things out with you. Such people are the epitome of anger and jealousy. It is best to be aware of your toxic friend and to not confide in them lest they make a gossip out of your life story!

* They like to keep scores and are quick to bring out past mistakes

Toxic friends seem to keep a stock of your most embarrassing moments and your faults. They hardly forgive you and absolutely never forget the stupid mistakes. They practically maintain an armoury of things from the past to use against you as and when they feel the need to. If you are still feeling bad about breaking that vase as a child or finding it difficult to move on from an ugly break-up, it is probably time to weed out the friend(s) who keep pressing on the wounds from your past!

* They love drama

If you have a toxic friend around you, you will find that your life is filled with unnecessary emotional turbulence. Such people live to make a mountain of a mole. They love unnecessary fights, careless bitching, and just being passive aggressive to people in general.Unfortunately, the longer you stay with such people the more influenced you get by them and the need for drama rubs off on you.

* They take you for granted

In retrospect, you will find that your presence is coveted by such ‘friends’ only when they need a favour. More often than not, they have no regard for your time, your opinion and your comfort. They start taking you for granted and hardly contribute to the relationship.

If you find yourself in a spot where a friendship is draining you physically, emotionally and (in some cases) financially, it is time to move on!
If you are able to relate all of the above to a person or people in your friend circle, it might be time to do some weeding out.