5 Ways Obsessing Over Your Love Life Can Kill Your Dating Game

The world of dating can be a tough and intimidating one, especially if you’re the kind of person who tends to overthink every. single. thing. Do you stress about being late? Keep to-do lists for days? Or agonize for hours over the last text you sent? If this sounds like you, then you might want to take a look at your romantic life to see if you’re overthinking things there too. Because the truth is that overthinking and dating are not a good mix, and dissecting every little thing about a relationship can really do some damage to your chances of being with someone amazing.

# You worry too much

Being a chronic over-thinker means you’re always coming up with ‘what if’ scenarios. This means that you’re mentally dealing with consequences for things that haven’t happened yet and may never happen at all. When it comes to dating, these types of scenarios are pretty common. (What if she hates my dog? What if he’s not ready to be exclusive?) But overthinking every step of a relationship can lead to it stalling rather than moving forward in a natural way.

# You can’t find the joy in dating

Overthinking consumes all of your thought processes and your mental energy, and can often mean you’re not finding any joy in the present moment. If you’re too busy thinking about what may or may not happen in the future, you’re not enjoying the now. Not being able to find joy in the current state of your relationship can have a negative impact on your partner too. Don’t forget to enjoy the moment you’re in, the rest will come later.

# It can make you seem stupid

People who overthink tend to rehearse situations and scenarios in their head a hundred times before they actually happen. This can be awkward or embarrassing on a date if the conversation doesn’t go in the direction that you planned and you end up lost for words with nothing to say. To avoid looking silly in these situations, you need to try to be as spontaneous as possible. Don’t limit yourself to only being confident under a certain set of circumstances. Let yourself be natural and the conversation will flow.

# It makes everything harder

For an over-thinker, life can become unnecessarily difficult because you’re always reacting negatively to situations and occasions that don’t necessarily match up with your preconceived expectations. In other words, by overthinking so much and coming to conclusions in your head before they’ve played out in reality, you’re constantly setting yourself up for disappointment and anxiety. This is especially detrimental in the dating world where it’s not only your thought process that counts but also your partner’s.

# It creates problems that don’t really exist

Your tendency to overthink means that if your partner does something even slightly outside of your personal expectations, a problem is created that probably shouldn’t have been a problem in the first place. This can be a hard atmosphere for both of you to live in. The person you’re with is never going to know whether something he or she says or does will end up causing an argument. And you’ll find yourself looking for your partner to mess up or fall short of your expectations, instead of just enjoying your time together.