- Home›
- Mates & Me›
- 5 Ways To Deal With Not Hearing I Love You Back
5 Ways To Deal With Not Hearing I Love You Back
By: Priyanka Maheshwari Tue, 28 Mar 2023 11:03:10
Even though saying I love you and not hearing it back can feel like the most brutal experience which nobody should have to through, now that it has happened, you need to deal with it in the best possible way. Stop being so hard on yourself, for the simple reason that it just won’t do you any good. First of all, you’re human. You are allowed to have emotions and express them in the way you deem fit. It is completely normal to feel shattered when you tell someone you love them and all you receive back is a look of confused emotions or the expression of clear rejection.
When you told them your feelings, know that what you did wasn’t a mistake at all. If you have feelings for someone, they have to come out and you have to know how the other person feels too. If this hadn’t happened, you would be living a false fantasy thinking that the feelings were mutual. Knowing the truth can actually set you free in this case and stop you from diving too deep. So think of it this way — it is good that you know now and you can peacefully try to move on from this person without spending more time and energy trying to woo them.
# Sink back into your normal schedule
What does it mean when you say I love you and they don’t say it back? It means it might get difficult for you to go out in public and face people. You fear that you will see your love again and won’t be able to hold back your tears or your agitation. But the truth of the matter is the more you isolate yourself, the worse your situation will get.
So then the big question comes up. What to do when you tell someone you love them and they don’t say it back to you? Staying alone and wallowing in your feelings will not allow you to distract yourself or feel better. Saying I love you and not hearing it back is something that can take a huge toll on you, so it all depends on how you handle rejection. When you go back to your normal routine, you will have something to divert your mind with instead of dwelling on that one incident.
# Be honest with yourself
So here’s what happened. You ended up saying I love you first over text to this girl you had been seeing for a few months. And she replied to you with a, “I’m so sorry. I’ve loved hanging out with you but I just don’t feel that way yet,” leaving your heart completely broken. You didn’t expect this and frankly, her reaction came as a bit of a shocker.
The truth is that you love this person immensely. This is a fact that is not going to change, at least not any time soon. Right now, you’re thinking about how you love this person and could have been a great partner to them. You could have given them all the happiness in the world. But, the truth is that they don’t feel the same way about you, and you have to take their words at face value instead of making assumptions to believe what you want to think.
# Don’t chase them
Saying I love you just to hear it back is a tempting sentiment, probably why you put yourself in that situation in the first place. But they have already told you they don’t feel the same way about you. Hurts like a bullet, we know. Although it may seem tempting, there is no use going after this person and expecting them to change their mind. If there were any feelings of love on their end, you would have got your answer.
Going after that person after saying I love you first and not hearing it back from them, will only drive them further away from you and ruin the friendship/bond that you two shared before. Don’t get blinded by your emotions and lose an important person in your life. And definitely don’t fool yourself with fantasies that they love you. Our hearts like to play with our minds, creating alternative explanations that have no connection with reality.
# What to do when you tell someone you love them and they don’t say it? backStop obsessing over the incident
Agreed, saying I love you and not hearing it back can be devastating, but dwelling on it is not a great idea either. Obsessing over it is a big waste of time and you are going to regret it once you get over this phase. Non-reciprocation of feelings can be someone’s worst nightmare, but there is indeed another way that you can approach this whole thing. Try to think of it as a reality check.
You tried to show them you care but now you know that it is in your best interest to walk away – try to think of it in that way. It can feel humiliating when you think about it in retrospect. But there is nothing embarrassing about wearing your heart on your sleeve. On the contrary, you should be proud of it. Despite all the risks, at least you tried!
# Acknowledge that they are still a big part of your life
That person may not have feelings for you but that doesn’t mean that the person doesn’t care for you. They could still be a big part of your life. Don’t spoil your present equation with them just because you ended up saying I love you and not hearing it back from them. Feelings come and go, but your constants still stay in your life. If you do have a solid relationship with this person, do not let them go just because they’re not romantically interested in you. You do not want one heartbreak to make you lose a friend for life.
Think about what is more important, your feelings of unrequited love or the kind person that you admire so dearly? If feelings have to come (or go), then they will, but till then, stay the way you are with that person. Perhaps not as lovers, but as good friends. Would you rather lose touch with them altogether just because they don’t look at you the same way?