5 Ways To Handle A Cheater Who Plays The Victim

It’s bad enough to get cheated on, but it’s even worse to confront your partner, only to have him or her play the victim and paint you as a villain. Very few things in life will irk you as much as this situation. But even then, there are some people out there who fall for the whole "woe-is-me-I’m-the-victim-here" trap. If you think your partner has the guts to pull this ploy, don’t fall for it!

Don’t allow the cheater to guilt you into thinking that you had it coming. In fact, it should be the cheater who should be showing remorse, and not the other way around. If you find yourself being blamed by a cheater who’s playing the victim, here’s what you should do.

# Tell them that feeling sad or lonely doesn’t justify cheating

If your partner was having an emotional issue in the relationship, then he or she should have brought it up with you. Going behind your back to deal with an emotional issue by cheating is extremely shady and unacceptable.

There are many ethical solutions that the person could have used instead. He or she could have tried to communicate with you. Couple’s therapy is another option. Even an honest breakup would have been preferable! No matter how much he or she was struggling, cheating is still unacceptable.

# Explain to them how much it hurt you

This is a great way to flip the tables on your partner, if he or she is acting like a victim. So if your partner is going on and on trying to portray themselves as the victim, simply remind him or her how painful it is to be cheated on. In fact, emphasize on this point until they drop the victim act and genuinely apologize.

# Tell them that you didn’t cheat on them when you were feeling hurt

By saying this, you effectively cancel out your partner’s whole argument. The reason is because your partner is trying to make cheating seem acceptable, by claiming that emotional pain justifies it. However, if you can remind your partner of situations in which you endured emotional pain, but did not resort to cheating, then it puts you clearly on the moral high ground.

# Emphasize how immoral cheating is

If you can really dig into the ethics of cheating, it can help to unravel any argument that your partner gives you. The reason is because cheating involves such a basic betrayal of trust, which is the foundation of the relationship. After discussing the immorality of cheating for a little while, your partner may realize that it’s hopeless to try to play the victim card.

# Emphasize how immoral cheating is

If you can really dig into the ethics of cheating, it can help to unravel any argument that your partner gives you. The reason is because cheating involves such a basic betrayal of trust, which is the foundation of the relationship. After discussing the immorality of cheating for a little while, your partner may realize that it’s hopeless to try to play the victim card.

# Ask them how they would feel if the situation were reversed

Doing this can also help to make your partner see the light. Perhaps your partner genuinely, truly feels like the victim in this situation. When you make them imagine if they were the one being cheated on, they may realize that no matter the reason behind the cheating, the act of betraying your partner with someone else still trumps that argument.