5 Ways To Help You Stay Out Of Office Politics

Is it possible to just go into work, do your job, and stay out of the office politics and cliquey stuff?

Yes, I’ve made a career out of it. And here’s how that goes, including the ups and downs.

Work hard, and finish work fast. (This is how you set the table for what I’m about to tell you. This reputation helps you get away with a lot of stuff I’ll explain below)

I tend to avoid, or even find a way to not go to meetings. Because 95% of corporate meetings are puffery to “see and be seen”. They accomplish little to nothing a good chat or email conversation can get done. Also, they drain energy and always go past the time allotted. If management calls you on it, tell them you need to finish the billable work, you know, the stuff that makes money. By skipping stupid meetings, you may fall behind in the corporate trail to be promoted, but you’ll get to keep doing the “doer” work without being bothered.

* Say hello to people once

If they ignore you or just look right through you, you avoid them going forward. You’ll gain a reputation of “quiet” and “keeps to himself”. While this hurts you for large promotions, you get to skip all the, “Will they say hi, do they want to talk today?” garbage many people worry about in Corporate Cubefarms. If management ever asks you about it, tell them how you tried to say hello in the hallways, but corporate zombies looked right through you or ignored you. This gains you automatic favor, because corporations get the spotlight turned back on them. Why aren’t people saying hello? Why are they walking around like zombies? Plus, you are justified in not bothering in trying to be social anymore. You tried once, and if they want to be social, now it’s the other guy’s turn to try. I have more important things to do.

* Never, ever, ever talk about social life with these people

99% of them will use these details against you. Be boring, ON PURPOSE. Mention boring family trips if asked, keep your social life discussions boring. Why? To avoid resentment and jealousy. And, you remain “invisible”, so you can just do your work and leave early.

* Avoiding drama means avoiding HR

Never talk about religion, politics, or anything sexual. Ever. Couple this with your deadline smashing reputation, you get to do what you want. Your broadcasted social graces should remain “boring” at all times. You may go home and be a superstar, go on exotic vacations, and have a great life outside the work. Never broadcast this…Ever. It invites jealousy and envy. Remain “invisible”.

* Sometimes, leave work early, or come in late

Remember my first bullet point above? Smashing deadlines grants you exclusions you’ll appreciate down the road. EI might leave two hours early to go work on a side business. I might leave two hours early to go spend time with my daughter. Are the other zombies upset? Maybe. But, remember, I smashed deadlines. Also, changing up your schedule a bit keeps the zombies off your back. they’ll sit wondering, “why is he late today?” or “Wow, he left early today.” More importantly, they learn less about you. When you come in and leave the same time every day, zombies start to think they know you, and want to “chit-chat.” This is a no-no. Because chit-chat leads to HR complaints, hurt feelings, and hour-long gabfests about nothing. Your job is to be “invisible”. Smash deadlines, and get out to go do other things you enjoy.

* Focus on performing your job

This is by far the riskiest route, but also the least stressful. You’re truly sitting out when it comes to office politics, but you’re also leaving yourself terribly exposed if things at your company take a turn for the worse. This is an acceptable approach if you’re in a secure position and at a secure company where layoffs are unlikely.