5 Ways To Teach Your Kids Discipline

No matter which type of discipline you use with your child, the ultimate goal of your parenting strategy should be to teach your child self-discipline.

Self-discipline helps kids delay gratification, resist unhealthy temptations, and tolerate the discomfort needed to reach their long-term goals. From choosing to turn off the video game to work on homework, to resisting an extra cookie when Mom isn't looking, self-discipline is the key to helping kids become responsible adults.

It's important to give kids the skills they need to develop self-discipline as well as an opportunity to practice making good choices. Here are 5 things you can do to help your child learn and practice self-discipline.

* Explain the Reason Behind Your Rules

When it comes to helping kids learn how to make healthy choices, an authoritative approach is best because it helps kids understand the reasons for the rules.Instead of saying, “Do your homework now because I said so,” explain the underlying reason for the rule. Say, “It’s a good choice to do your homework first and then have free time later, as a reward for getting your work done.”

This helps them to understand the underlying reasons for your rules. Instead of saying, "My mom said I have to do this," your child will understand the rules serve a purpose.

* Give Consequences

Sometimes, natural consequences can teach some of life's greatest lessons.A child who constantly forgets to grab his jacket as he runs out the door won't learn if a parent always delivers his jacket to the school. Facing the natural consequences of his behavior (like feeling cold at recess) might help remember to get his coat next time.

At other times, kids need logical consequences. A child who plays too rough with his mother’s computer might learn to be gentler when he loses his computer privileges. Or a child who has trouble getting up in the morning may need an earlier bedtime that night.

* Shape Behavior

Self-discipline is a process that takes years to hone and refine. Use age-appropriate discipline strategies to shape behavior one step at a time.Instead of expecting a 6-year-old to suddenly be able to do his entire morning routine without any reminders, use a picture chart on the wall that depicts someone combing his hair, brushing his teeth, and getting dressed. You can even take pictures of your child doing these activities and create your own chart.

When necessary, provide reminders to your child to look at the chart until he is able to look at the chart and do each task on his own. Eventually, he’ll need fewer reminders and won’t require the chart as his self-discipline improves.

* Praise Good Behavior

Provide positive attention and praise whenever your child demonstrates self-discipline. Point out the good behavior you want to see more often.For example, instead of saying "Good job not hitting your brother when you were mad," say, "Good job using your words to solve the problem."

Sometimes good behavior goes unnoticed and giving kids praise for making good choices increases the likelihood that they’ll repeat that behavior.Provide praise when kids do things without requiring reminders. Say, “Great job sitting down to do your homework before I even told you to!” or “I’m so proud that you chose to clean your room today all on your own.”

* Teach Problem-Solving Skills

Teach problem-solving skills and work together to problem-solve specific issues related to self-discipline.Sometimes, asking kids what they think would be helpful can be an eye-opening experience that can lead to creative solutions.

There may be a fairly simple solution to a behavior problem. A child who struggles to get dressed in time for school may benefit from having her outfit picked out the night before. Setting a timer for five minutes might also keep her on task.