6 Common Behaviors Of A Controlling Boyfriend

Many of us have been there. Sometimes we don’t see the signs. A guy whisks us away with charm and his goodie bag of exhilarating date nights, and then slowly but surely, the skeletons come out. Suddenly, he’s trying to manage every part our lives, we’re asking permission to see our friends, and we find ourselves asking… What happened? How did I even get here?

News flash— ladies, this isn’t love. This is control. And dating someone who’s controlling is just one sign of a possibly abusive relationship.

# He judges your friends

A good boyfriend respects your friends. Even if they’re not his favourite crew, he should at least accept them because they make you happy.

If he starts speaking rudely about your friends or trying to distance you from them, it may be a sign that he’s trying to undo these relationships. Having friends gives you independence and a sense of fulfillment in your life. He may not like that you have other sources of happiness outside of your relationship with him.

# He criticizes your style

A confident guy appreciates his girlfriend’s style. It’s only the controlling ones who want to oversee all the details. So when your boyfriend acts like he’s the kingpin of clothes and makeup, know that he’s deluded. Unless he’s writing a fashion blog or can navigate Sephora like he built it, then no, he’s not qualified to be your stylist.

# He snoops through your phone

CIA agent or boyfriend? If he treats your phone like it’s a public information service, he’s a controlling boyfriend. He needs to stay informed on all the tiny nooks and crannies of your life, from your pictures to your phone calls.

Overseeing your phone, especially your text messages, makes him feel secure in the relationship. He needs to verify that there are no signs of flirting and even if finds nothing, he’ll still track your selfies and probably your to-do list. Because ultimately, it’s not always about catching you being sneaky, he just enjoys doing recon on your life. He needs to monitor your daily activities or else he’ll feel out of control.

# He sees other guys as a threat

True love has no competition. A mature and secure boyfriend should not be trying to terminate your contract with all males, unless of course, there’s a reason, like an ex. Feeling uneasy about keeping in touch with your old beau is totally fair. Yet, if he seems desperate to banish every guy from your social circle, even if they’re barely acquaintances, you’ve got trouble.

# He has a temper

There’s no room for a temper in a healthy relationship. A controlling boyfriend is quick to anger because it’s his way of showing you who’s boss. When he rages, he gets to feel more powerful and in-control. For him, the bonus prize is making you feel intimidated; the more nervous he can make you, the more likely you’ll be too afraid to challenge him.

# He pushes his views on you

As a famous philosopher once said, “Great minds think for themselves.” In a relationship, you’re still an independent thinker, free to express your own views, even if your boyfriend doesn’t agree.

Couples will often have differing views on all types of matters: careers, politics, religion, whatever. That’s the beauty of coupling; it’s about two unique individuals, with their own personal perspectives, pairing together to enjoy life together in harmony. So, if your opinions don’t meet, you can have a mature debate about it, and in a healthy relationship, this might even be fun.