6 Dark Side Of Dating An Narcissist

So you finally realized that the person you’re dating could be a narcissist. Ugh, I’m sorry. Loving a narcissist is often something you don’t have control over, but you do have control of how you move forward. If you choose to stay in the relationship, know that you won’t be able to change their behavior. And, it’s also important to realize the kind of relationship you’ll have if you stay with this person. It won’t be easy and definitely won’t be fulfilling.

# You’ll feel empty, alone, and depressed very often

A narcissist’s inability to connect emotionally by expressing empathy or feeling authentic compassion often leaves their partners feeling very alone.

“There won’t be a deep, emotional connection where you feel understood, validated or loved unconditionally,” says Shirin Peykar, a licensed marriage and family therapist.

# You won’t get rational or reasonable behavior from them

Narcissists act in the way that benefits them, and don’t take into account how their actions affects others. This is never good for anyone in their lives but it can be especially draining for those in a relationship with them.

“They simply do not care if they hurt, damage, or cross others’ boundaries,” explains Peykar. “Their sense of entitlement is what drives them, not the well-being of the couple.”

# You’ll feel like your feelings don’t matter

That’s because narcissists are incapable of validating your feelings and emotions.

“It’s not because they don’t want to validate your feelings and emotions it’s because they lack empathy,” says Jenn Bovee, a licensed counselor.

This means that if you feel they did you wrong in any way, they likely won’t acknowledge it, or care. In fact, they may even put the blame on you.

# You’ll have lower self-esteem

“Being in a relationship with someone who uses gaslighting, bad-mouthing, triangulation, and silent treatment abuse tears down your self-confidence and self-worth,” says Bovee. “You doubt yourself because they have created a deep seeded doubt within you.”

# They’ll never doubt themselves and will always be right

“People who are narcissists live with a high level of arrogance and don’t have the emotional space to doubt themselves,” says Bovee.

This means that you will always be going along with what they say and want to do. This often leads to codependency—a state where your needs and wants cease to matter and you’re soul purpose becomes building up and supporting the narcissist in the relationship.

# There is little to no intimacy

“Narcissists inevitably center on themselves, which makes it nearly impossible to experience mutual intimacy,” explains Stacey Herrera, an intimacy and relationship coach. “Your needs will never be prioritized enough for you to feel close to a narcissist. A narcissist may enjoy the feeling of being intimate, but they cannot provide intimacy for others.”