6 Effective Ways Of Balancing Independence In A Relationship

We need to understand that individuals make relationships. Their individuality cannot be sacrificed at the altar of coupledom. The beauty of any romantic connection is the variety that both partners bring to the table. Their individual contributions make for a wonderful, shared space where they grow and build a life together. Losing sight of what you represent has very detrimental consequences.

The benefit of independence in relationships is two-pronged; the couple dynamics are stronger, and individual well-being is greater. We want both of these (and more) for you. However, while independence in relationships can seem like such a simple and straightforward idea, striking the right balance between your individuality and your role in a romantic partnership can prove to be tricky for most couples. We don’t want you to be one of those couples, and that’s why we’re here to share 6 stellar ways of achieving emotional independence in relationships:

# Don’t seek ‘completion’ through your partner

People tend to take the term ‘better half’ quite literally. Seeking fulfillment through a relationship or your partner is not only an unhealthy choice but also a huge responsibility to place on someone’s shoulders. Our partners are not responsible for us, and that’s non-negotiable. Trying to complete yourself in love is the first step on the path of dependence.

# How to be independent in a relationship? Have a circle of your own

And we cannot emphasize this enough. Studies have shown that positive social relationships have clear and marked links to an individual’s short-term and long-term health. It is vital to have a network of your own – friends, colleagues, family, and acquaintances that are distinct from your romantic life. This is a key element of being independent in a relationship.

Many couples run in the same circle or have a lot of mutuals. In other cases, one of the partners gets absorbed in the other’s friend group. These situations have nothing wrong with them per se, but there are times when you need a friend who supports you unconditionally without playing the devil’s advocate for your partner. Your ride or die, you know?

# Be willing to make adjustments in an independent relationship

There are many cases of people misconstruing independence in relationships. There’s a moderately thin line between independence and stubbornness (or selfishness). Don’t conflate the three. You’re an independent person if you choose your career over early marriage. But you’re a stubborn person if you don’t move around a work appointment for your partner’s birthday. Understand the difference between selfish and selfless love.

# Stay true to your core values to be emotionally independent

Have you noticed something interesting about long-term couples? Nine times out of ten, they hold very similar views and approach situations in an analogous manner. Years of knowing and living with each other have resulted in their synced behavior. And this is bound to happen with any relationship. What’s important is holding on to your originality through the years of partnership. That can only happen when you make a conscious effort toward balancing independence and marriage or a long-term committed relationship.

# Follow me-time rituals – Independence in relationships

The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. Be sure to give it due diligence. Make it a point to take some time out for yourself every day. A simple ritual like meditating, journaling, reading, or drawing can work wonders for your emotional health. If nothing, make yourself a cup of tea and sit by the window to watch the sunset.

My sister follows a very basic me-time ritual. At the end of the day, she lists 3 things that made her smile, 2 things that made her frown, and 1 thing that she’s grateful for. Being comfortable in your own company is a very important part of being independent in a relationship. Enjoy the silence and unwind. Break away from the need of requiring constant activity or conversation. Once you learn how to revel in these gaps, you won’t get bored easily.

# Respect the differences

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.” As you’ve already fathomed, the final element of independent relationships is giving your partner the space to be individualistic. Like most qualities, independence walks a two-way street. You can’t expect your loved one to function how you want.

The rules of coupledom are the same for everyone. If you want to lead an unconstrained life, you can’t pull your partner back. That’s just hypocrisy. Extend the same freedom and space to them. Naturally, there will be times when you disagree with each other but treat those situations with respect. They’re a healthy sign of your individuality.