6 Effects Of Stonewalling That Might Tear Apart Your Relationship

Relationships might witness the emotional effects of stonewalling if it persists over some time. Because stonewalling makes it difficult for a couple to address their issues, it can lead to little squabbles spiraling out of control. When faced with it, stonewalling psychology may often lead people to a point of desperation, making them say or do anything to break the pattern of being shut out.

The severe frustration that the stonewalled partner may have could lead to a more serious disagreement than the original issue justified. As a result, stonewalling causes not only problems but also compounds existing issues between a couple. At the heart of it all are these 6 emotional effects of stonewalling that have the potential to tear apart your relationship:

# Stonewalling can leave you feeling isolated

In a healthy romantic relationship, a couple must feel connected. However, one of the emotional effects of stonewalling is the feeling of isolation. Since one partner refuses to lend an ear and sort out problems, the other partner can feel lonely even while in a relationship.

Stonewalling makes you feel invisible in front of your partner and alone in the relationship. The metaphorical wall which has been created between the couple pushes them away from each other instead of bringing them closer. In the process, emotional intimacy begins to erode.

# Being stonewalled can make you feel angry all the time

It is so important to be heard or acknowledged when you are telling something to a loved one. Every relationship has problems but when one partner refuses to solve the problem and lets it burn a hole in the foundation of a relationship, it can pave the way for anger.

Anger is not just directed at the partner who is stonewalling but at oneself for allowing another person to treat one in a manner. The person being stonewalled can feel that they are not worthy of love and hence feel constantly angry at themselves.The stonewalling effects has on the victim are far worse than on the person stonewalling, but ultimately, it ruins the relationship two people built together until one person stopped putting in their share of the hard work.

# Developing resentment

Another emotional effect of stonewalling is the slow but consistent buildup of resentment in a relationship. In front of you is a person, whom you once loved unconditionally and who also claimed to share those feelings. However, now that same partner has left you alone and discarded your thoughts, your emotions, and your opinions.

It is extremely common to start hating your partner but not knowing what to do about it. Shazia says, “It proves disastrous for most of the relationships. Stonewalling is one of the common reasons for divorce and separation as a feeling of resentment begins to develop. Most of the partners try to seek revenge as they are not in control of their own emotions and things start taking a turn for the worse.”

# Low self-esteem can be an effect of stonewalling

When we declare our love for a person, we bare to them our souls and pour out the varied clandestine contents of our hearts that no one has ever heard or seen. There is an invisible sense of pride in knowing that someone loves you and it boosts self-esteem.

However, when the same person begins to act uninterested, refuses to communicate, or worse, gives you a feeling that you deserve to be stonewalled as some form of punishment, it can harm your self-esteem. Intentional or unintentional stonewalling can dent the self-esteem of the person at the receiving end, which can become the root cause for bigger problems in the future.

# Decreased intimacy

Another emotional effect of stonewalling is the reduced intimacy between the couple. The chemistry that once ignited passion flames would begin to seem dull, almost non-existent.

This can drive an ever-widening wedge in the relationship. That’s why, apart from understanding why you are being shut out, you must address another vital question: What to do if your partner is stonewalling you? Let them know that they cannot expect emotional and physical intimacy in the relationship if they continue with their behavior. Sometimes, a lack of intimacy can awaken the partner and force them to open their eyes and accept the realities of their relationship.

# Stonewalling leads to trust issues

When someone asks, “What’s stonewalling behavior?”, my first instinct is to reply, “It is the total and absolute abolition of trust”. Think about it this way: Trust is the foundation of a relationship. If you cannot trust the person, you cannot be with them. So when a partner indulges in stonewalling, even if it is unintentional stonewalling, they have left no room for the other partner to establish their trust in them. It is one of the biggest effects of stonewalling on a relationship.