6 Major Signs It Is Time To Break Up With Your Boyfriend

Do you remember this profoundly simple quote by Ram Dass? “We’re all just walking each other home.” Doesn’t a partner walk you home in the most beautiful way? A relationship is an integral part of your journey as an individual. It nourishes, teaches, and guides you to your highest potential. Needless to say, a relationship is as good as the people in it. A wrong partner can cause much damage to your life.

Why do I keep thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend, you ask? Because maybe you have an inkling that he isn’t the right fit for you. The relationship, as well as your boyfriend, have served their purpose in your life. It’s time to accept that your relationship is over and channel your energies elsewhere. Fundamentally, three situations warrant a breakup – an abusive partner, an incompatible partner, and incompatible situations.

# Why should I break up with my boyfriend? There’s no future with him

Yes, we’re talking about the infamous ‘what are we’ and ‘where is this going’ questions. If you’re in a casual relationship and dating to have some fun, then building a future with your boyfriend is not your priority. Even if a no-strings-attached liaison fizzles out, there won’t be a significant impact on the direction of your life. But it’s a whole other ballgame if you’re getting serious with your man.

If you’re beginning to envision long-term plans with him, it’s crucial for him to be on the same page. If he is a commitment-phobe (or a man-child), there won’t be much scope for a healthy and lasting relationship. Ditto if you’re dating a narcissist. So, how do you know if you should break up? The word we’re looking for is ‘sustainable.’ A partnership needs to be sustainable for the happiness of both people involved. You should break up with your boyfriend if the relationship is leading you to a dead end.

# The relationship is holding you back

C. JoyBell C. wrote, “You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles.”

The very first thing we discussed was the importance of a relationship in your personal growth. It’s one thing for your partner to not enrich your life, but a whole other if they’re actively holding you back. We’re talking about the fundamentals of support here.

Do you find yourself not taking up job opportunities or exploring new things because your partner disagrees? Or do you stop yourself before they can? You need someone like Chandler who tells Monica to take up a great job – even if it leads to a long-distance marriage. In the absence of support, you will end up being miserable, resentful and bitter after a few years. Be fair to yourself and consider the opportunity cost of being with your boyfriend.

# He’s a toxic individual – Should I break up with my boyfriend?

This seems quite self-explanatory and obvious. But the traits of a toxic boyfriend often go unnoticed. If there’s any form of abuse, please pack your bags this instant and check out of the relationship – no jokes, literally. And ‘abuse’ is an umbrella term that covers behaviors like gaslighting, breadcrumbing, love-bombing, phubbing, ghosting, etc. A boyfriend that tries to peg any of these as romance is a grade-A oaf.

You deserve to be treated with respect and love – put an end to the relationship if your partner is chipping away at your self-esteem. My sister once dated a man who used to gaslight. It took her three months to identify his pattern, but four years to break off the relationship. By then, much damage had been done. Thank you for asking ‘should I break up with my boyfriend?’ It’s healthy to question things once in a while.

# The relationship is not fulfilling

Don’t let anyone tell you this reason is not enough. Our basic needs have to be met through our partner. Should we break up or stay together, you wonder? It depends on your emotional and physical health. If your emotional needs are being met – you’re experiencing care, support, trust, love, friendship, etc. – and if your physical needs are satisfied, then there’s no cause for concern.

But emotional neglect and lack of sex or affection can take a toll on you very quickly. More often than not, this is the case with long-distance relationships. Despite their best attempts, couples feel very discontented with the bond. If you’re in it half-heartedly, then there’s a need to evaluate the state of affairs again. You’re not wrong in wondering ‘should I break up with my boyfriend long distance?’

# You’ve been cheated on – How do you know if you should break up?

Infidelity births many complications in the relationship. Mistrust and resentment become the norm of the day and each fight brings back distressing memories. While several couples manage to overcome cheating after a lot of work and time, many choose to part ways instantly.

If your boyfriend has been unfaithful to you, taking some time off might be a good idea for you both. Keep reconciliation on the table if you must, but put some distance between you two.

You might want to consider parting ways permanently if he’s a serial cheater. Don’t tolerate disrespect in the name of love and don’t let anyone take you for granted. Put your foot down and make the decision of leaving him once and for all. It’s not easy to get the strength to leave someone you love but it is a good idea to put yourself first.

# Your friends and family aren’t fans

Yes, this matters far more than you think it does. Our social circle has the advantage of viewing us objectively. They have a complete picture of our situation and can predict what is the likely outcome of our decisions.

If your parents and friends are particularly disapproving of your boyfriend, you should take their opinion into account. There must be a basis for their view and investigating the same is your duty.

However, don’t let this be the driving factor behind your breakup. A friend’s opinion is a good place to start, not end. Be open and receptive to what your well-wishers say, but conduct an independent analysis of the situation too. For instance, I always find myself rethinking errors when my mother points them out. A slight nudge from her makes me spot something I initially missed. I’ve narrowly missed a few dating disasters because of this practice!