6 Major Signs You Need To Get A Divorce

Growing up, we were told that marriages are for a lifetime. You meet someone special, you fall in love and get married and find your own happily ever after. Little did you know then that living with your spouse could get difficult in just a few months or years. If yours has become an unfulfilling, loveless bond, you need to pay attention to the signs you need a divorce that may be written all over your marriage.

The prospect of ending a marriage brings in a whirlwind of confusion and emotions. You may stay on in an awful marriage hoping for things to improve or maybe you’re still over the fence about whether your problems are big enough to warrant walking out.

# You cannot trust each other

More than just physical satisfaction or fiery chemistry, the foundation of any happy marriage is built on mutual trust and understanding. You are supposed to come home every night to the person with whom you can be vulnerable, be your absolutely truest self, and whom you can trust with your innermost feelings and secrets. If that isn’t the case in your marriage, it is one of the first signs divorce is inevitable.

For Pamela, her marriage to Tony meant he was her go-to person for every problem she faced at work or in her social circle. However, over the years, their equation began to change. Five years into their marriage, Pamela found herself turning to colleagues or friends to confide. This, according to Jui, is one of the first signs of a failing marriage.

# The communication gap is massive

Clichéd as it may sound, a relationship cannot survive with bad communication between the partners. A lot of times, you observe a pattern of inconsistency or incoherent behavior in your spouse, which leads to baseless assumptions. This practice of mind-reading is a major culprit behind the communication gap between couples, which, then, creates a domino effect of arguments, blame games, and misunderstandings.

# You avoid spending time with them

Being in a marriage does not mean being around each other 24/7. Two people may have unique passions and want different things and it’s healthy to spend some time apart from your spouse. Reading a book, going shopping, spending time alone in a café, even traveling alone when married, etc. are important for your growth as an individual.

# Your spouse is never your priority

Tell me if this sounds relatable – you just cut the third call from your husband/wife because you are having a good time at a team lunch and you don’t want to spoil your mood. You would choose a walk in the park with a friend any day over a date night at home with your loved one. If you are not bothered anymore about the promises you made to your spouse or their happiness and well-being, we see some trouble in your marital paradise.

# You are defensive in all your statements

In a healthy relationship, when a problem occurs, you sit down with your partner from time to time and discuss each other’s behavior and air out your issues. And, it goes without saying that you do it in a respectable manner. For instance, by saying something along the lines of, “I love you, but I wish you’d help me do this.” However, if you’ve been noticing that you get defensive about anything that your partner says, perhaps all is not well in your marriage.

# Your heart races when you think of them

And not in a good way. When your marriage is rife with troubles, a racing heart does not mean butterflies in the stomach, feeling a happy nervousness at the thought of being with them like you did in the initial stages of a relationship. Here, your heart races out of stress and fear of another squabble with your partner, something you would immediately avoid if you could.

Pay attention to what your body is trying to signal. Do not take the physical responses to your spouse’s presence lightly. You will find yourself popping blood pressure pills if you do not address these reactions. A negative physical reaction is a big relationship red flag and one of the most telling unhappy marriage signs you’ll get divorced.