6 Major Tips That Will Help To Make An Introvert And Extrovert Relationship Work

An introvert and extrovert relationship is not like they show it in the movies. The idea of “opposites attract” has been romanticized so much, but things are different when it comes to real life. Movies rarely talk about how anxious and overwhelmed introverts feel in a crowd full of loud and outgoing people. They also don’t talk about how being alone in a room during lockdown was the worst nightmare come true for an extrovert.

Then, how does one make an introvert and extrovert relationship work? After all, they are fundamentally different and derive their happiness from opposite sources. Let’s dig into this.

# Understand where your partner derives their energy from

Introvert and extrovert relationship problems may arise if you are not curious or open enough to understand your partner’s needs. You have to see where they are coming from, what makes them happy, and where they draw their energy from. The challenges are totally different when you are dating as an introvert.

For example, my boyfriend is an introvert and I am an extrovert. I become more alive, vivacious, and energetic when I go out and socialize. So, I draw my energy from other people. He, on the other hand, draws his energy from quiet, solitude, and alone time. He processes things when he spends time with himself.

# Take some time off after work to detox

Dating an extrovert can mean dating someone who would want to rant about their day as soon as they come home from work. But an introvert might need some alone time after having a whole day of interacting with people at work.

So, taking an hour or two after work can actually work wonders in an introvert and extrovert relationship. An extrovert can use that time to catch up on social media or texting. An introvert can use that time to take a nap, watch TV, or enjoy solitude.

# Learn how each style deals with conflict

The solution to introvert and extrovert relationship problems lies in understanding how your partner deals with conflict. If you need time to cool down, you can set a time when you will revisit the issue rather than ignoring it or pursuing it relentlessly.

For example, if an extrovert man and introvert woman are dating, the extrovert needs to focus on calming down during an argument and on not getting defensive. On the other hand, the introvert needs to focus on trusting their partner and opening up. Also, introverts should avoid sweeping things under the rug or letting them go just so they can avoid talking about them.

# Learn from each other in an introvert and extrovert relationship

Make an introvert and extrovert relationship work by considering it as a unique experience to grow, and deepen your relationship with yourself. My boyfriend is an introvert and I am an extrovert. I have learned a lot from dating an introvert. Having some quiet time to myself has made me explore areas within me that I wasn’t really aware about because all my extra time would go into socializing.

I have started reading more books and even developed an interest in painting. It has been a learning experience for my introverted boyfriend as well. He was a little overwhelmed at first because his social circle expanded. But then, pushing out of the comfort zone actually felt good to him too.

# Find activities of mutual interest

Introverts fall in love with extroverts and make it work by finding activities that they both enjoy. Let’s take an example of a relationship between an extrovert man and introvert woman. An introvert might enjoy activities like hiking, biking, playing video games or watching movies. Their extrovert partner might also enjoy doing some of these things. So, both can find a common ground on activities of mutual interest.

Taking care of each other’s needs is one of the examples of mutual respect in a relationship. Spend time together but also give each other space. This space will allow you both to miss each other, and the desire for your partner will only increase. Spending all your time together could get draining. This brings us to the next point.

# Give space to your partner for individual fun

Healthy boundaries in terms of time and space are the secret behind making an introvert and extrovert relationship work. You don’t have to torture your introverted self to dance on techno music all night and have neon paint all over you.

You can stay in and read a book while your extroverted partner goes out and grabs drinks with their friends. Be very honest about your needs and don’t shy away from telling your extroverted partner about the importance of ‘me time’ in your life. You can communicate clearly instead of making excuses like “I am tired”.