6 Parents Mistakes That Demotivate Their Children Unintentionally

Wouldn’t it be great if your children were motivated, independent learners?

That way, you wouldn’t have to nag or scold them to do their homework, and life would be easier for everyone.Parents often tell me how frustrated they are that their children aren’t interested in school. They’re also concerned that this lack of motivation will carry over to other areas of life.

The problem is that parents often demotivate their children unintentionally. Here are 6 of the most common mistakes parents make so do your best to avoid them in your home.

# Give Your Children Too Many Rewards Based on Achievement or Behaviour

This is a trap that many parents fall into, and for good reason. The first time you try it, it seems to work.You might tell your children that you’ll pay them a dollar each time they get more than 85% for a class test. This seems to work because they start studying harder.

You think to yourself, “Great. Problem solved!”

Then a few weeks later you realise their motivation has waned. They complain that getting a good grade deserves more than one dollar.An argument breaks out, and you find yourself justifying the price. You even explain that studying hard is their basic responsibility as a student.

# Overemphasise the Importance of Academics

Parents think that emphasising the importance of academics will motivate their children to work hard.The problem is that this approach doesn’t turn your children into lifelong learners.

Learning isn’t just about getting good grades. It’s also about enjoying the process.When children enjoy learning, they become motivated to keep on learning.Grades can affect your job prospects, but many great leaders weren’t great students. Unfortunately, many of the students I’ve worked with tell me that their parents seem to think that grades are the only thing that matters. We now know that there are many different types of intelligence and that the education system only measures some of these.

# Supervise Your Children Too Closely

Micromanaging your children produces similar results to micromanaging employees.It builds resentment, damages relationships, and robs children of valuable learning experiences.

When children have the opportunity to plan their own work and take responsibility for their actions, they become more mature. They also develop independence and organisational skills. Children who take responsibility for their actions come to understand that they have control over their life. They learn that they have the ability to create their own success.

# Allow Power Struggles to Develop

It’s common for power struggles to develop at home.They often happen over homework or what time the children wake up for school.

If this is happening in your family, take a step back and analyse the situation.Often, the root of the problem is related to the parent-child relationship.After all, you know that the more you nag, the less it will help the situation.

# Set Rules Without First Discussing Them with Your Children

No one likes to feel powerless or as though they have little control over their lives.Think about how you’d feel if you were told what to wear, how much TV you could watch, and when you could use your phone.

It’s reasonable to have rules at home, but I recommend that you first discuss them with your children.Workplaces that introduce strict rules without consulting their staff often find that their staff have started to rebel.You can avoid a mutiny at home by bringing up the matter with your children before laying down the law.