6 Reasons Why An On And Off Relationship So Bad For You
By: Kratika Mon, 27 June 2022 6:08 PM
Being with someone takes dedication and passion. Whether you spent two weeks or two years living in blissful monogamy, it can be very hard to let go of someone you love, even if you know that doing so will improve your overall well-being. But what’s worse than everything else is finding yourself stuck in an on-off relationship, playing a loop of love and hate.
It’s normal to be stubborn and for the “fight rather than flight” instinct to kick in when deciding whether to give a relationship with someone you love another go.
Everyone’s goal in life is to be happy, yours included. Moving forward and into the future is all part of life. There are good times and there are bad ones, but you know better than anyone that life is a treasure trove of new discoveries just waiting to be uncovered.
# It’s downright toxic
According to a post on Psychology Today, “The more frequently couples cycle back and forth between being together and being apart, the more their relationships tend to deteriorate to involve negative interactions, less satisfaction, and less commitment.”
It clearly shows that being in an on and off relationship is toxic. The same way you would not knowingly drink bleach, why poison your heart when you know it is going to end badly?
# You need time to heal
The second reason why you should not be engaging in an on-again, off-again relationship is that you may not be ready for it. You need time to heal from your breakup, and getting over this person is key if you want to move on.
The reason you keep getting back together is that your judgment is clouded by mixed emotions. Love, anger, frustration, temptation, loneliness, and everything else come into play when you break up with someone and still yearn to be with them.
You have to take time off from this person to see things clearly. Perhaps a decade from now, if your paths cross again and you end up together, then good for you, but if you are still heavily involved in each other’s lives, you will never be able to completely heal.
# You need to find yourself
Being in an on and off relationship is also a sign that you do not know who you really are and what you want. Sure, you may justify this by saying that what you want is to be with this person. So then why do you keep breaking up?
Take a step back and seriously ask yourself if doing it all again is what you want and need. Do not depend on an ex to make you feel worthy and happy. You can feel all of that without needing to be in a relationship with this person yet again.
# The world’s your oyster!
A big reason why there is no point in being together, then breaking up, then getting back together, then breaking up again is because there is plenty of other fish in the sea.
Why torture yourself knowing that things could end just as badly yet again with the same person?
There’s a big world out there and it’s filled with viable options, so why not be brave and explore? Sure, you may stand the chance of getting hurt again with someone else, but at least you had the courage to head out into the unknown and see for yourself what is out there.
The only way for you to find your soulmate is if you stop cowering behind your ex.
# You deserve better than this
Knowing that you deserve better should be enough for you to snap out of your hazy daydream, thinking that being on-off with someone is healthy.
You eat right, work out, buy sustainable products and do the whole “I love taking care of my well-being” thing, so why not do the same for your heart?
Going back and forth between being a couple and being exes can take its toll on your mind, so why keep it up?
# It’s close to impossible to justify making the same mistake over and over again
Everyone probably has a friend who is the poster child for on and off relationships. They have probably been breaking up and making up with the same person for years. Maybe they even date people in between but refuse to let anything serious happen between them.
Every time they end things with someone new, they probably call their ex up for a booty call, drinks, a date, a movie, snuggles, or whatever they want at the time. They might even boast that being able to decide when they want to be with them again is a sign of independence.