6 Reasons Why Nice Guys Fail At Online Dating

I admit that I am also guilty of foregoing the nice guy in a crisp, clean shirt for the ruggedly handsome deadbeat with no medical insurance. Why? Because I had problems. The surprising thing, however, is that majority of the female population apparently have the same problems.

Why do so many women complain about not finding a good guy, when they purposely reject every mediocre-looking Prince Charming that comes their way? The answer: society. A lot of people start to agree with a certain attitude and mind set, because there are people or groups of people who can confirm that they themselves have experienced the same thing.

Things are the way they are because we cannot compartmentalize every little hang-up every woman has, unless it turns out to be something really serious like a mental disorder. When you start to believe that something is a fact, you start to agree with said fact and apply it to future situations.

Since their options are endless, why is it that nice guys fail more than they succeed at online dating? As I’ve mentioned above, there are certain aspects of women’s thought processes that lead them to think that nice guys don’t deserve their time. Sheesh. It’s true, though, so let’s see why that is:

# They give compliments, not pick-up lines

When I asked a bunch of girls why they reject guys who give them compliments on online dating sites, they get really twitchy and mottled. When they finally give an honest answer, they admitted that they always take compliments with a grain of salt, because they prefer compliments about their personalities as opposed to their appearances.

But then again, it’s a dating site. A woman’s appearance is the first thing that you may notice, but try mentioning something from their profile. I repeat, mention, not compliment. [Read: 14 important dos and don’ts of online dating]

# They post NICE pictures

Nice guys have nice pictures. You can see a flattering, cropped headshot, a graduation picture, a scenic photo of an expensive vacation or an awkward pose at work. Unfortunately, these are the pictures that women want: a high-definition photo of half or your whole body, a shirtless photo at the beach *not indoors in front of a bathroom*, a photo with you and your friends at a moderately expensive bar, and a photo with a dog. Those are non-negotiable.

# They dial down the sexy

Nice guys can be sexy, but they tend to tone it down when they first meet someone. Because they are nice, they do not want to offend a girl or make them feel objectified and uncomfortable. Sadly, fellas, that’s what most women want these days.

# They are too attentive

Or clingy. Whichever way you put it, giving too much attention can be suffocating for most people – not just girls. I know you’re excited to talk to the person you like, but you need to focus on yourself and continue with your routine. Make up for lost time when you see each other again. Just don’t be too fixated on what she’s doing all day long.

# They elaborate

Everything has a story behind it. That doesn’t mean that you need to tell each and every one of those stories. Nice guys tend to ramble on about mundane things, because those are the only nice things they think are worth talking about. It’s better for you to keep things simple, unless prodded. You’re not on an interview. You’re just chit-chatting online.

# Their jokes are sort of bland

The jokes aren’t the problem. Nice guys are just more prone to fail at their delivery, because of their mild-mannered dispositions. If you have enough confidence to pull it off, hooray. But for those of you who are shy, I suggest sticking to a funny story instead.

# They aren’t assertive

A lot of complaints I hear about nice guys is that they don’t go after what they want. Women like to feel wanted and needed. If a guy doesn’t ask her out soon, the girl will assume that the guy doesn’t like her. That’s when her attention will start to wane and she’ll start looking for more assertive men.