6 Reasons Why People Fall For Narcissists

Narcissism is a personality disorder that causes an individual to think of themselves as fundamentally better than other people.

Other symptoms of narcissism are a highly inflated ego, obsessive need for admiration, and a general lack of empathy towards others.

Not exactly ideal partner material! And yet, many people find themselves falling hopelessly in love *or in obsession* with narcissists, only to be inevitably burned by a personality incapable of true love. But if they’re so terrible, then why do people fall for narcissists? What is it about them that’s so tempting?

Like any abusive partner, narcissists learn quickly to keep their nature under wraps until their victim is fully in their clutches.

Unfortunately, the world is full of well-trained narcissists who have no problem getting people to fall in love with them. But why do people fall for narcissists when we know how bad they are for a relationship? What is it about narcissists that’s so appealing?

# Not all narcissists are made the same

First, it is important to note that Narcissism Personality Disorder is a broad spectrum, and not all narcissists are made the same. Everyone is different, and that includes narcissists.

Some narcissists are non-malignant, relatively harmless, and can maintain healthy relationships. However, there are other, more dangerous versions of this personality disorder that can cause a person to be aggressive in the defense of their delusions, sometimes to the point of violence.

# You may fall for a narcissist if you were raised by a narcissist

At the end of the day, much of our actions revert back to our childhoods. If you were raised or surrounded by narcissists growing up, your odds are higher of dating a narcissist.

If you grew up with a narcissist parent, ask yourself if you really want to be with someone like that for the rest of your life. Chances are good that the answer is no.

# Narcissists put up a great front

Narcissists usually don’t reveal their true nature right away. They know that to be successful, they have to play the part of a potential loving partner.

When you meet a narcissist, there usually aren’t many red flags, at least, not the obvious ones. They put on a good show, and you may be swept up in their looks, charm and apparent interest in you.

After all, if someone attractive and charming approaches you, you’ll dive into the conversation without a second thought. That’s their gift; they’re very appealing.

# Narcissists go out of their way to charm you

On paper, a narcissist may tick all the boxes. They’re attractive, confident, bold, and charming. They may even go out of their way to compliment you, or perform over-the-top gestures of love, such as delivering dozens of roses and buying expensive gifts.

While there is no need to treat this with inherent suspicion *they could always be a nice person, or just rich*, keep an eye out for signs of “love bombing.”

Love bombing is an emotional manipulation technique in which a person uses over-the-top flattery, affection, and gifts early in a relationship. The motivation behind this behavior is not love, but control.

When the narcissist later changes their behavior, they point to the love bombing as justification. They act “good” only as long as it takes to get you close to them.

# Their boldness and sense of self is seen as sexy

When you first meet a narcissist, they’re usually bold and self-entitled, which can come across as confident. Of course, we all find confidence sexy.

Studies have even shown the more narcissistic a man was when confronting strangers, the more phone numbers he received. But as stated before, the true difference between confidence and narcissism is night and day.

Confidence does not seek to put down others, but narcissists do.

The difference is that confident people have a strong sense of self, whereas the narcissist has no sense of self, only what they can make others believe about them. If those beliefs are challenged, they are likely to react badly.

# Narcissists are really good at the game

Narcissists trick potential partners because they are good at it. It is, unfortunately, that simple. When it comes to relationships, narcissists are like professional athletes.

It’s not about finding a life partner or even a satisfying sexual relationship– for them, it is all about the “thrill of the hunt.”

The narcissist is driven only by their desire to get as many people to love them as possible, and they hone that skill from a young age. That’s why everyone else falls for their tricks.