6 Signs And Reasons To Let Go Of Toxic Family Members

It is always said you can choose your friends, but you can never choose your family.Many a times it so happens we get so close to some people that tehey feel like family. and on the other side times when toxic family members seem more like your worst enemies.
It isn’t just societal pressure that makes us feel for our kin. It is something innate in us that drives us to want to protect and help those genetically tied to survive. But the problem is, just because you care about a family member’s well-being, that doesn’t necessarily mean they care for you, family or not.
There is an obligation that we feel to our relations. The need to go that extra mile and help out. When they aren’t good for us or hurt us, it is a difficult situation. The only true obligation you have is to you. So, if someone is toxic to you, then you’re obliged to take care of you.

1. They abuse your kindness
We all know that family member who has no shame in asking you for money, expecting you to practically raise their kids, or ask you to do things that no one else would, just because they know you will.
Toxic people sense weakness and use it to their advantage. If you are the peacemaker in the family, then a toxic family member uses your kindness as their kryptonite to make you do what they want no matter how much it puts you out. They simply don’t care.
2. They steal from you
Toxic family members have the advantage of gaining access to your financial information. Sometimes in the form of bank or credit accounts or just knowing where you hide cash.
If your family member steals from you, then you have an obligation to cut them out of your life. The cornerstone of a good relationship, family or otherwise, is trust. If you can’t trust them, then it doesn’t make for a good relationship, whether there is blood involved or not.

3. They talk badly about you
If your family member says bad things about you or spreads rumors about you, then it is time to call it quits. Someone who talks badly about you, isn’t good for you and isn’t doing you any favors.
The longer you remain close to them, the more access they have to things that are private and don’t want other people to know. If we can’t rely on family providing us safe shelter and to have our backs, then who can we? [Read: 18 emotions you shouldn’t feel in a healthy relationship]
4. They divide and conquer
Toxic family members usually gain control by doing something called dividing and conquering. Like the mother who calls one daughter to tell her about what the other daughter did. Someone who uses breaking a family apart to gain an advantage is toxic. And definitely someone that isn’t good in your life.
Sometimes you make a break and stop letting toxic family members come between you and your other family members. Just refuse to be a pawn in their scheme by cutting them off.

5. They have an addiction problem
When someone has an addiction problem, they are no longer themselves. Someone addicted to something outside of themselves is not only toxic to themselves; they are toxic to the people who care about them.
I know how hard it is to see a family member hurting and not be able to help. Continually giving in or even providing haven and money to support their bad behaviors isn’t helping them. It makes it worse.
As hard as it is, sometimes people must hit rock bottom to understand how far they fell and try to pick themselves up. No one saves someone but themselves. So, it is time to let them work it out without the protection you provide that keeps them stuck.
6.They gang up on you
If you have family members who always gang up on you or target you, then you don’t want them around. Jealousy exists both inside families and outside.
Don’t let someone continue to gang up on you. Don’t spend your life trying to convince someone you aren’t who they say you are. It isn’t worth it. Let them have it and move along. Find friends to take their place instead of continually fighting a tidal wave.