6 Things To Discuss With Your Partner Before Getting Married

You wouldn’t take an exam without studying beforehand. You wouldn’t run a marathon without training prior to the race. It is the same with marriage: marriage preparation is key in smoothing the way for a happy, satisfying and successful wedded life. Here is a list of things you should work on in preparation for your life as a married couple.

* Tangible items

Physical exams and bloodwork, to make sure both of you are healthy and fit. Wedding licenses and other event-specific paperwork. Reserve the venue, officiant, reception site, issue invitations, etc.

* Intangible items

Discuss what you imagine marriage to be. You each may have a different vision of married life, so take time to talk about how you think your combined life should be structured.

* Talk about chores

Do you have a preference, say, dishwashing vs. dish drying? Vacuuming vs. ironing? What should be the place for traditional gender roles in how household tasks are shared?

* Talk about children

Are you both sure that you want to have children, and if so, how many is the “ideal number”? Could you envision one day allowing your wife to stay at home and take care of the children? Does that make sense financially? Does your wife want to be that type of mother?

* Have the money talk

As uncomfortable as some of us are with discussing finances, you need to be clear on how you view money with each other. Will you open shared bank accounts? What are your financial goals: save for a house, spend it on fancy electronics, take luxury vacations each year, start putting away now for future children’s education, your retirement? Are you a saver or a spender? What are your individual debts at this time, and what are your plans to get out of debt?

* Examine your communication styles

Do you consider yourselves good communicators? Can you talk reasonably about everything, even the points of conflict that you may have? Or do you need to work with a counselor to enhance your communication skills? Are both of you open to that? Talk about how you would handle large-scale disagreements. It’s good to know how your spouse-to-be would confront sensitive issues in the marriage because these will occur.