6 Things To Keep In Mind How To Date When You Have Low Self Esteem

Sometimes it can feel like learning how to date when you have low self-esteem is impossible. Hearing everyone say you must love yourself before loving someone else can put even more pressure on you.

And the thing is that learning to love yourself and know your self worth is not an overnight transformation. It can take years to work on self-love and you shouldn’t have to put off finding a life partner because of that. The reason why so many people with low self-esteem turn to dating is because it can feel easier to receive outside encouragement and love than to give it to yourself.

Loving yourself can be one of the hardest things we do in life. This can be due to our childhoods, past relationships, and so much more. But it can be successfully battled with self-love, positivity, and a partner that understands your struggles.

If you remind yourself of this guide on how to date when you have low self-esteem, you can find love in a relationship and happiness within yourself.

# You don’t need a partner

You want one. This is something I cannot stress enough. So many people believe they need to be dating or in a relationship, but no matter what your parents, society, or the voice inside your head says, you don’t.

You don’t need someone to complete you, but you want someone to enrich you. You want someone that adds to your life, not someone who occupies it.

# You deserve someone that wants to be with you

I cannot tell you how long I stayed in a dysfunctional relationship with someone I practically had to beg to stay with me. It was so hard on my self-confidence. Begging someone to stay with you is not what you want or need.

Often, people with low self-esteem will seek out relationships with those that play hard to get or really are hard to get because if we get them then we prove we deserve it. But what we need is someone that makes us feel like they want to be with us without begging, but just being us.

# You are your first priority

You should always focus on yourself first and foremost. It may sound selfish, but it isn’t. Putting in time, attention, and appreciation for you is the most important thing you can do for your self-esteem.

Do not cancel plans with friends or even your night alone watching The Bachelor to be with your partner. Take time to pamper yourself. Do what you need before taking care of others. If you prioritize the person you’re dating, you will wear yourself out and only lower your self-esteem.

If all your energy is going to someone other than yourself then you will intrinsically define your success on that effort, not the effort you put into yourself.

# You are enough

Constantly remind yourself you are enough. You do not need to be prettier or smarter or richer. You do not need to change to be worthy of love. We can all be better for ourselves, but you do not need to change for anyone else.

With or without dating, you are enough. Surrounding yourself with friends that are supportive of your choices is a great way to get that encouragement.

# You need to give and receive honesty

Honesty is so vital to all relationships, but especially ones where low self-esteem is involved. A lack of trust can so quickly turn into doubts about the other person and yourself. If you aren’t honest with your partner, you will think they are not honest with you.

This will eat away at someone with low self-esteem. I know, I’ve been there. I always second-guessed myself and my ex. And I wouldn’t share my fears because I didn’t want to seem needy. But I was needy. That feeling led to my constant stress about him cheating and lying.

This doesn’t just get you angry at your partner, it tells you that you don’t deserve someone better. I convinced myself that my partner cheated because I wasn’t enough. So I let it be and stayed in an unhealthy relationship. Requiring honesty at all times lets you breathe.


# You define who you are

You are not defined by your relationship status. You are not defined by how hot or successful your partner is. Certainly, you are not defined by forcing yourself to stay in an unhealthy relationship. You define who you are. Just you.