6 Things To Remember When You Are Sexually Attracted To A Friend

One minute your friend is the same as they’ve always been, just your friend, someone you’ve known for a while. Then suddenly, bam! Almost out of the blue, you’re finding yourself getting sexually attracted to a friend!

You notice that you’re feeling a little bit differently towards them all of a sudden. You start to blush when they walk into a room, you look at their hands and wish they were on you, you look at their lips and wonder what it would be like to kiss them. Then, you catch yourself and panic! “What was I thinking?”

Have you ever been in this situation?

If you have, don’t worry, it’s surprisingly common. Sometimes we develop sexual attraction towards people that we either shouldn’t, or we never looked at that way before. It can be as fleeting as it came, or it can stick around. The problem is, if you attempt to make a move on someone who has been your friend for a long time, how can you be sure that your friendship, the most important thing, is going to remain intact and unaffected?

# Understand that sex is rarely just sex

For many people, sex turns into something deeper, causing emotions that can be very difficult to handle if the other person doesn’t feel the same way. When you have sex, it’s like you’ve crossed a line that can’t be undone. Are you ready for that?

Are you going to be able to shake off any potential emotions that might occur and simply be friends? Before you decide whether to do something about becoming sexually attracted to a friend, you have to know that sex isn’t just taking your clothes off and doing the deed, it’s an event that once done, will change everything in some way at least.

# Some friendships can handle it, others can’t

If you don’t know your friend that well, if they’ve only been in your life a short while, that could explain why you’ve suddenly found yourself desiring their touch. In that case, a friendship such as this one is more likely to survive a sexual encounter than one which has been established for years.

Sure, some friends end up sleeping together randomly and then go on to get married, but it’s very, very rare. If you’ve been friends for many years and you’re very close, surely the connection you have as friends is more important than a hook up?


# How will you feel if they move on to someone else?

Let’s imagine that this isn’t an emotional connection you have and that it’s a pure sexual attraction. You actually make a move, you end up sleeping together, and that’s it.

By some stroke of luck, you manage to remain friends. How will you feel if they move on to someone else? They’re completely within their rights to do so, but will it hurt you? Will you become jealous? That’s something you have to think about carefully if you begin to feel sexually attracted to a friend.

# Is it just sexual or is it emotional too?

Are you sure this is purely sexual or are there lingering romantic feelings under the surface? Take some time to think about this carefully and try and pinpoint exactly what it is that you’re feeling.

If you are developing deeper feelings and the sexual attraction is just masking it, are you able to continue just being friends or do you want to try and see if it could become more? Again, think very carefully indeed, but know what your motivation is and understand where your feelings stem from.

# Always proceed with caution!

It should go without saying that if you’re sexually attracted to a friend and you do decide to see if they feel the same, you should proceed with extreme caution. There is a high chance they’re going to be shocked, and once that shock dies down they will either be on board with the idea, or they won’t be. If they’re not, will they be able to look at you the same again? How will you feel?

You have to understand that friendship is more valuable than sex. If sex is all you want, surely there is someone out there you can develop a sexual relationship with who doesn’t have the same deep friendship connection you have with this person?

That might end up developing into something deeper, but you won’t be risking a long-standing friendship in the process.

# Know that sometimes we become sexually attracted to people but it doesn’t mean anything

Have you ever had a sexy dream about someone you know and then freaked out about it. You start to analyze what it means and panic that your feelings have suddenly gone rogue. Understand that sometimes our feelings just attach themselves to the closest person around, and that it doesn’t necessarily mean anything deep.