6 Things You Should Never Do After A Breakup
By: Kratika Wed, 03 Aug 2022 10:12 AM
It’s done. Over. Kaput. Zero. The relationship you’ve worked so hard to salvage has finally met its end. But considering this may not be your very first breakup, you’ll probably do just fine, right?
For those of you who always seem to have trouble getting over a breakup, it may be time for you to rethink the things you do while the wound is still healing. When emotions override logic, you may find yourself doing things that are neither logical nor healthy for your sanity.
But oftentimes, the most common things people do when they’re just reeling from a breakup are the very things you should avoid. Not only do they keep you trapped in the moment of utter misery, but they also keep your mind on an event that you should be working hard to get over.
# Insisting on the closure talk too soon
The closure talk is when two people who have broken up decide to act like adults and talk about the things they wanted to say during their breakup. This often includes apologies for words said and objects thrown.
It lightens the load on your heart and allows you to move on by letting you calmly express everything you wanted to say. For some, a face to face meeting is too much, and they would prefer to do it via a phone call or even a letter.
Yes, it’s healthy, but only if done after both of you have gotten over the breakup. Ask for it too soon, and you’ll just reopen the wounds that should be healing. The pain and bitterness are still there, so chances are, you’ll end up making a scene.
The memory of the times you used to share will be too recent, and this could end up unleashing a flood of tears. Our advice? Give it at least a few months before you attempt to have the talk, just to be on the safe side.
# Stalking the ex or the new person in your ex’s life
Every happy picture they post will just add another knife in your heart. We know that you need to really feel the pain and the sadness for you to reach catharsis and move on. But checking out what the ex is up to will just prolong your pain. Besides, it’s not really your business to know what they’re doing.
If you need help resisting temptation, a good way to keep your mind off it is to unfollow the ex on social media. Top this off by installing one of those apps that prevent you from visiting a site at a certain time of the day.
For those of you who really think you don’t have it in you to resist, just uninstall every social media app you have and swear off the internet for a couple of days. Not only will it keep you from stalking, but it can also prevent you from airing out your grievances onto your online network.
# Going to your old date spots
This is just as bad as stalking, only you’re not doing it from the comfort of your own home. By going to places where you used to hang out, you’re reminiscing about the good times you had together. You’ll just end up missing your ex more than you should. And the worst part is that you might turn into a puddle of tears in public!
The only reason you should visit your old date spot is to create new memories about the place, preferably when you’re way over your ex. It helps to not confine a certain place to a memory. So when you’ve moved on, you can go back to the place to transform it from "the restaurant where we had our first date" to "this place that serves awesome chicken wings."
With swollen eyes, a runny nose and a tendency to burst into tears at the slightest provocation, we really can’t blame you if you want to just stay at home and wallow in misery. But life has to go on, even if you’re single and nursing a broken heart. A day or two to help yourself recover is fine, but anything more can cause more damage.
You’ve lost the person you love, but that’s no reason to lose everything else in your life. Showing up for work, socializing with other people and doing the things you love can help show you that it’s not the end of the world! In time, these things will feel less like distractions and defense mechanisms, and more like the usual activities that you’re now starting to enjoy again.
# Going rebound hunting
Rebound relationships can help you get over a breakup, but only up to a certain point. The shallowness of a rebound relationship can’t make up for the depth of your relationship with your ex. With that said, the best you can hope for in a rebound guy or girl is having a person in your bed and maybe having someone to have a nice talk with.
While having a rebound is fine, having one immediately after your ex has left you can cause more damage than good. For one thing, your misery can turn into desperation and you may end up going home with just about anyone. And you’ll also have to consider that you might turn your new hookup off with your incessant screaming of "Why doesn’t my ex love me anymooore?!"
# Getting absolutely wasted
Your relationship has shattered, so why not get smashed as well, right? Wrong. Getting the temporary high of dance music, and tons of alcohol will just serve to numb the pain now and give you the hangover of a lifetime tomorrow.
Just imagine how much worse this breaking up business will get if you’re nursing both a throbbing headache and a broken heart on the same day?