6 Tips To Date When You Have Social Anxiety

Dating and social anxiety can seem like a tough combination. Your relationships can be affected if you have social anxiety, much as you may not accept it. But it’s not like you cannot gain control of the situation and meet new people, date and form intimate relationships – you just need to know how to start and we will help you with the same.

Social anxiety is a mental illness caused by internal feelings of inadequacy and rejection and the fear of being judged negatively by people around you.

People with social anxiety often have a high sense of self-consciousness and get embarrassed easily. The fear is considered irrational by some, but for the people dealing with social anxiety, it is a solid reason to hold back from much or any social interaction.

# You have to be brave

Cutting down on social activity only strengthens your anxiety in social gatherings. You have to be brave. It’s like telling yourself: “This could be bad, but this could also be good.”

A little mantra goes a long way. Every time you feel like you want to ditch a party, or leave your date, even though you are having a good conversation, buckle yourself up to be brave and chant the mantra to yourself. Think of some good first date questions instead.

# Prep yourself mentally

There’s the constant anxiety that you will run out of conversation topic while on your date? Read up on current affairs and things your date likes and try to incorporate those in your conversation. You can say things like, “I do like Vir Das. His Insta page is hilarious” or “You like Harry Potter? Cool, I have once written a paper on him”.

# Kick off the adrenaline

Exercising before the big date will calm your mind and body, reducing the symptoms of anxiety. It also relaxes the mood by releasing endorphins.

Endorphins are happy pills released into your body that can improve your mood drastically.
So, a little exercise, try yoga, or going running before the big date can be useful.

# Use a friend

Take your friend with you when you are on a date. They don’t have to actually sit with you at the table with your friend. Just having a close friend nearby can do a lot to boost your self-confidence.

Friends can also help you get away from a bad date, should that happen.

# When things get anxious, open up

If you start feeling anxious in the middle of the date, don’t be shy about it. Your date might not even know of your anxiety, so it’s alright if you let them know. Feelings of shame and rejection will hit you like tide waves hitting the shore and that’s common.

If you say it out loud, you take away half of its power. It lets you just “go there” where you tell your date, “Hey, I am sorry but I am getting a little anxious right now”.

# Do not keep an exit strategy

Ready to fake an emergency to get out of a date? Or have your friend call you with one so you can bolt out of the door the moment you get anxious? Keeping an exit strategy ready is fine and all, but remember, you are letting your anxiety win by pre-planning your exit. You are self-sabotaging the relationship then.

Your anxiety already knows it has a stronger hold on you; by already thinking of an exit plan, you are emboldening it. Instead, don’t have your friend call you with an emergency.