6 Tips To Deal With A Selfish Boyfriend

When you have a selfish boyfriend, you start feeling like you’re a slave for their needs. Everything you do is to make them happy and to cater to their needs. What about your needs?

Just because they’re selfish doesn’t mean you need to break up with them or start an argument. Instead of blowing up, there are a couple of different ways to handle your selfish boyfriend and bring them back to planet earth. We all look for love when we get into a relationship. We all want that one person that’s going to be with us through thick and thin not to mention to cuddle with at night. But love isn’t enough. I know, that’s a depressing thing to hear but it’s true. Love simply isn’t enough, it’s a good base though.

# You’re responsible for this as well

Yes, he’s selfish but here’s the thing, you’re allowing the behavior. You knew they were selfish pretty early on into the relationship, you had to have seen the signs. And you probably thought that it wasn’t a big deal or that you just want to make them happy, so you let it slide.

But now you’re here and tired of their behavior. See, you didn’t create a boundary nor did you express your feelings.

# Give yourself attention

Okay, so they’re selfish, but you’re feeding it. It’s time that you spent some much-needed attention on yourself. You need to break the vicious cycle you’re in. So, instead of putting his needs first, put yourself first. Spend time doing things that you like, making time for yourself and only yourself. Their needs shouldn’t be a priority over yours.

# Talk about it

You thought that this was just going to go away? Not likely unless you change. It’s time for you to start speaking up, expressing how his behavior makes you feel.

No need to yell or cry, you don’t want to argue about this, you want to improve the situation. Sit down together and talk about what’s going on. Talk about your feelings and make sure to use “I” statements.

# No ultimatums

You telling him to shape up or leave isn’t going to do anything. You cannot give an ultimatum to someone who doesn’t understand what’s going on. Firstly, express the things they do which are selfish in nature. Then, emphasize the positive things that will come if he changes, showing how the relationship will become better.

# Figure out why he’s selfish

Outside of your relationship, he could be very giving and selfless which is why you’re so confused as to why he’s like this. But he’s had a life before you and one that probably had some previous trauma in it. This doesn’t mean he gets a free pass, this simply means you’ll be able to identify the cause and then use that as a way to change their behavior.

# Reconnect to yourself

When we’re with a selfish partner, we have a tendency to forget ourselves and our own values. You know you don’t deserve to be treated this way, but it’s shoved way inside of you. So, it’s time to reconnect with your own values.You need to see that you don’t need to be with a selfish person in an intimate relationship and that you’re better than this. Bring the power back into your hands.