6 Tips To Deal With Passive Aggressive People Without Losing Your Cool

Passive aggressive behavior is both super annoying and difficult to deal with. On one hand, the person is upset but on the other, they’re showing their feelings in a very immature, irritating way. Therefore, you can get pissed by this and respond badly if you’re not sure how to handle it.

Because passive aggressive people need to be dealt with carefully. Why? Because they clearly have issues when it comes to communication and that means you need to be careful with what you say. There’s a reason they’re being passive aggressive and not just coming to you with their problem.

The biggest issue those who are petty or passive aggressive have is not being able to communicate effectively. Instead of just confronting someone about what’s upsetting them, they write little rude notes or make sly comments directed at them.

# Understand where they’re coming from

I know it’s frustrating when they’re acting the way they are, but you have to calmly assess the situation for what it is. Where are they coming from with that behavior? Obviously, it’ll be from a place of hurt. They’re upset.

If you take a step back and look past the annoyance of their behavior, the truth is very obvious. They’re hurt and they’re not sure how to convey that message. Understanding this can help calm you down so you can proceed with a nicer attitude.

# Remember that they’re not good with confrontation

The passive aggressive behavior comes directly from them not being able to talk about how they’re feeling. They can’t tell you how they feel, so they show it in ways that might seem irritating to you. But they’re trying to show you, regardless.

Keep in mind that they’re not good with confrontation and will likely not respond well if you try to come at them with harsh questions. Don’t just say, “what’s your problem?” in an angry way. You have to keep calm and figure out a nicer way to get on the topic of why they’re upset.

# Find out what the issue is before going to them

If you can pinpoint the cause for their behavior, do it. Think back to what you’ve done lately that could’ve caused them to get mad. Honestly, you’ll probably be able to figure it out best just by listening to their passive aggressive comments. It’ll come across loud and clear.

Once you know what you did or why they’re upset, you can act accordingly. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding all along. Or maybe they have a legit reason and you just didn’t realize it.

# Avoid using harsh words

Again, don’t use any blaming words. Avoid telling them off and upsetting them more. They’re just not good at communicating. Shouting or going at them with an aggressive demeanor will only make matters worse. Keep your voice as calm and nonjudgmental as you possibly can.

# Stay positive

Positivity will make dealing with those passive aggressive people a lot easier. I know it can be hard but if anything, you just have to fake it until you make it. Focus on keeping a happy, positive attitude and it’ll make approaching and dealing with them worlds easier.

Not only will they be more comfortable talking to you when you’re positive, but it’ll make it easier for you to talk to them without losing your shit. Smile, be polite, and then get them to open up.

# Try to help them express their issue

This might be hard for you to do but it’s possible if you just sit back and talk to them. Get talking about something random and slowly take the conversation so the fact that they’ve had a bit of angst as of late. Normally, if you’re joking and having a good conversation, they’ll laugh and tell you why. If not, try alternate methods.