6 Tips To Get Your Partner To Trust You Again

So you slipped and told a little white lie, and your partner caught you red-handed. Now, you’re faced with the frustrating consequences of your actions, and your partner no longer trusts you. If you truly care about your partner, you should have realized pretty quickly that what you did was hurtful, no matter how small the lie was.

It doesn’t matter if you lied about being on your way to work or who you were chatting with on Facebook. A lie is a lie, and it has the potential to plant doubts in your partner’s mind. Don’t be tempted to call your partner shallow and petty for making this seem like a big deal. Lies are a big deal, no matter how inconsequential you think they may be.

# Make amends

The first step to take after being caught in a white lie is to apologize. Instead of making excuses, show that you accept full responsibility for your actions, and that you are willing to work hard to earn back their trust. Be willing to wait as long as it takes for your partner to trust you again.

Don’t expect their forgiveness, but instead work on earning it through your actions from this point on. The situation will not resolve itself without any effort on your part, so make sure you are putting in the work.

# Honesty is the best policy

This is a crucial point, especially since lying got you in this unwanted situation in the first place. Do not make the same mistake twice, or attempt to cover your previous white lie with another one, in hopes of saving face. Two wrongs really won’t make a right.

Tell your partner the honest reason for why you lied, and explain how it will be different the next time around. Let them know that your actions will be sincere, and your words will be genuine from here on out, and your partner can hold you to that. This is not an empty promise, you really have to prove it.

# Be prepared to be seen as the villain for a while

Your partner won’t be giving you their trust so easily after you lied, nor will they be loving and affectionate towards you for a while. You made a mistake, and you have to deal with the consequences, so be prepared to be seen as the villain until you’ve made it right.

Take it as a lesson learned. That should be enough incentive to make you never want to make the same mistake twice. It won’t feel good to be given the cold shoulder, but if you know you were wrong, you’ll know that you deserve their reaction.

# Be reliable

When you are reliable, this shows that you are a person of your word. Being dependable and available when your partner needs you will help build back the trust that was lost. Consider this a part of the bargain when you start making amends.

# Be an open book

Since you put doubt into your partner’s mind with whatever lie you told, it’s a good idea to start being more open than usual about yourself and your whereabouts. Volunteer information without making your partner have to ask, and make sure it’s true!

If they decide to do a background check to confirm that you are being honest, you want to make sure you have all the facts straight. Keep the lines of communication open, and keep your phone on, since one lie can cause a lot of other suspicions to build up in your partner’s mind.

# Respect your partner’s needs

If your partner asks for space or time to themself in order to help them get over the lie, respect their decision. Don’t abandon ship or beg them to forgive you, but rather let them know that you are there for them when they come around.

Make sure they know that you will make whatever changes necessary to prove that you won’t hurt them that way again, and that you are committed to working it out.