6 Tips To Stay Normal While Going Through A Divorce

In a model world, we would live a perfectly smooth, model life – joyful childhood, loving spouse, understanding in-laws, well-behaved, high-potential children, minimally ailing old age, and a painless death. Yet, that no-blemish, perfect model is a conveyor belt, machine-made stuff. It’s a mirage. In real life, you will face hardships and you will fall down an umpty number of times. It’s how you pick yourself up and deal with the breakup healing process that matters. Listed below are some helpful tips on how you can stay sane while trying to mend your broken heart:

# Accept the divorce

Namrata says, “There can be several reasons for a divorce. Whatever your reason is, you have to accept it. They cheated on you? Accept it. They said they don’t love you anymore? Accept it and try to heal with it. Only when you accept the reason behind the divorce, will you be able to accept the divorce itself.”

Acceptance is going to be the hardest part and it’s also the first requirement to retain your sanity in the wake of a divorce is to remember that the divorce has happened. Nothing you do is going to change this fact. Your former partner has agreed to it as well and you are heading to a new life.

# Don’t act on your negative emotions

Following on from the previous point, your thoughts may wander in this grief process. You may want to refrain from acting on your unsteady emotions for the time being. The great Dalai Lama said that destructive emotions blind us. You cannot move ahead with a black cloth tied to your eyes, can you? You just have to understand that it’s normal to feel these intense emotions.

# Don’t let love turn into hate

It’s natural to hate the person who has shown you both happy and miserable times. Don’t let hatred consume you. This won’t just affect your future relationship (if you choose to have an amicable one) with them but it will also ruin their relationship with your children. If you spew hatred against your former partner in front of your children, it will negatively impact their opinion of the parent as well.

# Vengeance is not the answer

Revenge is never the right answer to a peaceful life. If you are replicating an action that wreaked havoc in your life, it’s not revenge or retaliation. It is making you the perpetrator of your own life. This just doesn’t mean you have to indulge in revenge cheating, which means cheating on your partner because they cheated on you. Revenge takes place in many forms when you are going through a divorce.

# Do not compare yourself with others

We always have a bad habit of comparing our life with others’ lives. Every person’s story is different and so is yours. You can’t sulk over the fact that your friend’s marriage seems amazing but yours came crashing down. This is only going to diminish your self-worth and how you value yourself.

# Be careful from who you take advice

When you are going through your divorce proceedings, most people will try to tell you a lot of things to change your mind. They will say several things like: “Be more patient” or “Endure a little more and things will change” or “spice up things in bed and they keep coming back for me”. If you have reached a point where you don’t want anything else but a divorce from your spouse, there has to be a major reason for it.