6 Tips To Stop Being Emotionally Immature

What does it mean to be emotionally immature? At some point our life, we may have raised this question as we ponder to ourselves. We question our ability to be able to feel emotionally secure and mature when we handle our relationships and it’s alright to feel unsure.

Usual expectations are that as a person grows older, he or she also mature with age, but that’s not always the case with other people or even with yourself. What is maturity? Is it the ability to file taxes and raise children? Am I emotionally mature when I freely cry in front of others?

Emotional maturity is not that difficult to achieve but the steps to get there can be confusing especially if one isn’t willing to admit that he or she is not. Because of that, we have concocted a list of ten healthy ways to identify the signs and stop being emotionally immature:

Never use emotions as a weapon

It is never okay to use your emotions as a weapon in an argument. Using emotions is like cheating because you’re basically blackmailing or guilt-tripping the other person into surrendering with you ending up as the winner in the argument. If you’re caught in a lover’s quarrel, never conjure up tears for the sake of winning.

Instead, exercise your mind and think logically. Do not allow for your emotions to take over and impair your judgment. Count to ten until you feel your feelings reach a lower level before you say anything that you might regret or impose unfairness on your partner.

Don’t be afraid of your own feelings

You are a human being and you are allowed to feel and be entitled to your own emotions. Be honest with yourself and try your best to figure out what you really want but if you can’t, that’s alright too. It’s normal to feel confused and lost because what’s important is that you are aware that these are what your feeling.

Shutting your feelings and emotions in a box and throwing away the key may sound like the perfect plan to not get hurt, but it’s not beneficial in the long run. This will hinder your growth as an emotionally stable person and will tear you away from any relationship depth.

Dare to speak your mind

Once you have figured out within yourself that you are indeed acknowledging your emotions, then don’t be afraid to speak your mind. Let others know how you feel, how their words, actions, or even own emotions made you feel towards them. It may come naturally to your person if you shy away, but do your best to step out of your comfort zone.

Growth means being vulnerable to others. A flower grows out in the open, daring any obstacle that may come in its way, but at the same time it can reach out to the sun and receive the rain, helping it bloom to the best version of itself. The same thing goes with people, dare to speak and dare to bloom!

Don’t give the silent treatment

It’s understandable that in any relationship, fights will erupt, whether serious or not. How you handle these lovers’ quarrels is what determines your emotional maturity. Do you shy away, shutting your feelings and preferring to give the silent treatment until the other caves in and apologizes or are you one to speak your side and talk things over?

The silent treatment is never a good solution to a fight. Why? Because not talking doesn’t solve anything, instead, it will only make the situation worse. If your partner gives in and apologizes, this will not help you grow because you will get used to things going your way and that is never good.

Acknowledge other people’s feelings

Being emotionally mature means acknowledging other people’s feelings and their existence. It’s nice to remember that there are also other human beings living on this planet with you and they have their own set of feelings. They think differently from you and will not always agree but that’s okay.

It’s best to note that no matter how heated an argument gets, you acknowledge their value as a person and that their feelings are valid too. You let them speak out how they feel about the situation and their own solutions for it. You can never advance in any relationship if only your emotions are being considered.

Don’t make permanent decisions on temporary emotions

It takes a lot of guts to be able to hold one’s emotions, especially in situations where you just want to thrash out all around, throw things, and say hurtful things towards your partner just to spite them. These fights don’t usually end well when one person makes permanent decisions based on feelings that are only temporary.

Before you let your anger go up to your head and declare right then and there that you’re breaking up with your boyfriend, try to get a moment to ask yourself: is this what I really want or am I just saying this because this is how I feel right now? Better to think about it now that lose a special person completely.