6 Ways To Build A Relationship From The Foundation Up

Wondering how to build a relationship the right way? The start of a relationship is an exciting time. Everything is new, a bunch of ‘firsts’ are ahead of you, and your cheeks hurt from smiling all the time. It’s pure bliss! As you’re getting to know each other and settling into the relationship, you’re working together to build a solid foundation for the future.

But want to make sure you’re on the right track? Follow these timeless tips for how to build a relationship. With time, patience, and respect, you’ll be well on your way to a quality partnership.

# Communicate openly

Learning to communicate is one of the most important parts of knowing how to build a relationship. And yet, it’s one of the things couples struggle with the most. Communication boils down to feeling comfortable speaking your mind. It’s not easy to be vulnerable with someone, but in a relationship, it’s vital.

You have needs, wants, likes, and dislikes. Instead of making your partner guess what they are, tell them! Say what you mean and mean what you say. It takes time and compatibility, but with practice and patience, you and your partner can become expert communicators.

# Listen to each other

Another important part of How to Build a Relationship 101 is listening. Practice deep, active listening. Be present, be focused, make eye contact, and really hear what your partner is saying. Let them know that they’ve been heard, too.

# Learn how to disagree

Have you ever gotten into a spat about something small, like what time to leave the house to make your dinner reservation on time, that blew up into a whole thing and put a damper on the entire night? Every couple disagrees from time to time. But successful couples learn how to argue respectfully, resolve disagreements quickly and calmly, and move on.

# Don’t keep score

Speaking of winners and losers, seriously, strike those words from your relationship vocabulary. Whether you feel ‘up’ because you took out the trash or ‘on top’ because you were right during your last fight, neither are healthy ways to approach your relationship.

Instead of framing things about yourself and wondering what’s in it for you or where you stand, consider your partner and ask what’s in it for the two of you. True partnership is working together and being on the same team. When you start keeping score, everybody loses.

# Spend quality time together

It sounds like a no-brainer. Of course, couples need to spend quality time together if they want to know how to build a relationship. But when people get comfortable and settle into routines, you’d be surprised by how often quality time is deprioritized.

# Do (almost) everything together

Years ago, I asked a family member in a long, loving relationship what their secret to a happy marriage was. Her answer was simple and not at all what I expected: “Do everything together.” Go to the grocery store together. Watch soccer together. Get an oil change together. Spending time together naturally brings you closer, and the more you do it, the stronger your relationship will be.