6 Ways To Deal With Husband Does Not Want To Be With You

Marriage is a living entity. You have to work on it every single day. You can’t be affectionate today and be aloof tomorrow. You can’t say “Oh, I was nice to you yesterday. Today, I am expecting affection from you.” Marriage doesn’t work that way and it isn’t as simple as that. You have to consciously contribute to make it work. It’s the little things that make your marriage stronger.

Before we find out the answers to how to deal with your husband not wanting you, let’s look at the possible reasons why your partner doesn’t want to be intimate with you, and what are the stressors that are building a wall between you and your partner:

- Money issues
- Conflicts on how to bring up children and how to discipline them
- The amount of freedom each spouse has in the marriage
- Rules on dos and don’ts of a marriage
- The extent to which they are living their individual lives
- Expectations could be getting in the way
- Not articulating your needs clearly.

# Communicate more

If your husband avoids you, then you need to find out why. When both of you are in a good mood, sit down and talk about it. The more you communicate with your spouse, the more peaceful your marriage will be. Communication is a two-way street. Both parties should participate equally to understand and clear each other’s doubts.

Couples who have effective communication skills express their desires more effectively, resolve their conflicts, share their thoughts and feelings more easily with each other, feel more intimate and close to each other, and finally they experience a higher quality of marriage. A high quality of marriage helps couples to be less at risk of marital burnout.

# Identify the comfort level

How comfortable are you with your partner? It’s important you understand that being best friends with your spouse can enhance your relationship in incredible ways. Lack of comfort can be harmful. The two of you aren’t just sharing a home. You are sharing your lives together. If you are saying “My husband loves me but not sexually”, then maybe he isn’t comfortable with you anymore. You need to build mutual intimacy by:

- Having deep emotional conversations
- Being vulnerable with each other
- Learn each other’s love language
- Try to become each other’s best friends.

# Identify the issue

This is the main solution to your ‘how to deal with your husband not wanting you’ concern. You need to identify the main issue and see if that can be addressed in a positive way. You won’t know how to get your husband to desire you if you don’t narrow down the problem.

The issues could be:

- He’s losing interest due to your unwillingness to experiment in bed
- He’s put off by your sky-high relationship expectations
- He’s not in love with you anymore
- He is having an affair
- He’s not interested in sex anymore, which is something that needs to be talked about.

# Focus on other things

Stop fixating on sex for a while. Hit pause on that particular problem and focus on the rest of your life. Do you think sex is the only good thing about your relationship that’s keeping it together? Wrong. Although it’s one of the contributing factors, there are many more dimensions than sex in a marriage.

“You can go without sex for a few weeks and just enjoy each other’s company. Go on a trip together. Help each other out in household chores. Focus on your career and personal achievements. If you have children, find ways to becoming better parents. Sex cannot be given prime importance when there are so many other aspects of your marriage.”

# Have the expectations talk

How to deal with your husband not wanting you? Talk to him about expectations. It’s the unspoken expectations that ruin a relationship. It sets you up for failure because when they are unmet, you tend to develop resentment toward your partner. When you thrust such unrealistic expectations upon them, they might feel trapped in the relationship.

# Cultivate empathy

Be understanding of what your partner is facing. If he is battling an addiction, stress, erectile dysfunction, or any kind of mental health issue, support your husband on the journey of recovery. You can’t just stand there and expect him to get better on his own. Let him know he’s seen and heard.

Empathy for me leads to an understanding of a variety of humans; it allows you to make decisions based on not just your own feelings, but that of others. This doesn’t mean you have to cry with every person who’s going through heartache, but understanding their feelings and being a support in that respect is pretty solid.