6 Ways To Get Over Your Ex After Dumping Them

Head online and you’ll be inundated with advice on how to get over a breakup. How, though, do you get over a breakup that you caused? People think that if you were the one who asked for it, it will be easier to get over—but on the contrary, depending on the situation, it may be much harder to do.

What some people don’t understand is that there are many layers to a breakup. The who, what, why, when, and how are supremely important and each of these questions will determine whether both parties will emerge unscathed after the whole experience. There’s a chance that you’ll emerge happy as a clam after breaking up but, like I said, it totally depends on the situation.

# Learn to enjoy being alone

It is strongly advised that you not dive into another relationship as soon as your former one is over. Not only do you want to avoid looking like an insensitive ass, you also need time to re-establish who you are as a single person. If you want to have loads of rebound sex, please go right ahead, but be sure that you know where to draw the line. It’s unhealthy to bounce from one partner to another without some breathing time in between.

There’s also nothing wrong with spending time alone. Whether it’s spending an afternoon in quiet contemplation at a park, or having breakfast, lunch and dinner alone, you may find peace in solitude.

# Be mindful

You have to remember to be mindful of your actions. As you were the one who asked for the breakup *and I’m sure you had good reason for doing it*, there’s no denying that you will be judged by everyone you know.

People love a good story and there’s nothing that’ll get the rumor mill working overtime more than a good breakup tale. Be mindful of the things that you post online, of what you say to people, and how you react when you’re asked about your ex and what happened. Remember to approach curious questions with elegance and mindfulness. You’ll find that the less you offer up to gossip mongers, the better your chances are of escaping from them.

# Take responsibility

This is probably the hardest thing that you have to do, but you are going to have to take responsibility for your actions if you want to move on. Depending on what happened and how it panned out, there are probably going to be a whole lot of people unhappy with what you did. From parents to shared friends, to colleagues to your cleaning lady, everyone’s going to have an opinion on what happened.

Don’t be afraid to take responsibility for what you did. Hold your head high, but don’t forget to exhibit remorse for your actions. I know you shouldn’t care about what people think, but when you’ve done something wrong, the best thing for you to do is to admit it, deal with the consequences, and move on.

# Leave your ex alone

This may be hard for some of you, but please leave your ex alone. Don’t whine and cry and beg to be taken back. Don’t send “I’m sorry” messages, emails, flowers, or gifts. Don’t stalk them on Facebook, and stop liking everything they post. You did something to provoke the breakup. You asked for it. Now you deal with it. Leave your ex alone and let them heal while you do the same.

# Travel

I’m a huge advocate of traveling. I advise people to travel when they’re happy and when they’re sad. I believe that no matter what stage of life you’re at, travel can only make things better. It’ll broaden your horizons and give you the chance to think, feel, breathe, and taste something brand new. Sometimes, that’s all we need. Whether it’s going off on a life-changing volunteer excursion to help Syrian refugees, or heading to Koh Tao for a beach holiday, just do it.

# Talk about it

Whether it’s out of embarrassment, fear, or guilt, don’t hide behind what happened. Whatever happened, happened and you have to admit it. Don’t go all crazy on everyone and be worryingly extreme. If you’re embarrassed to speak to a friend because you’re worried about being judged, then reach out to a counselor or therapist. You’ll need to get a load off your chest if you want to get over this breakup that you caused.