6 Ways To Handle The Pain Of Loving Someone Can Not Have

It doesn’t matter who the person is – loving someone you can’t have will always be hard.

Unreciprocated feelings are something everyone has experienced at least once in their lives. When you love or even like someone, it seems unbearable to face the painful truth that they just don’t feel the same way.

No matter how hard you try, there’s just no changing their minds.Loving someone you can’t have doesn’t always mean they don’t feel the same. Sometimes, the other person may like you but they’re just not ready or they’re stuck in situations where you’ll never have them.

Whenever they’re around, you get consumed by your efforts to conceal your emotions, hoping that the way you stare at them won’t give away your real feelings.There are times when you ask yourself why you’re subjecting yourself to this kind of torture. Even if it’s painful loving someone you can’t have, you push through the pain anyway.

# Enjoy your time together don’t expect anything more

You know exactly what you got yourself into the minute you stayed in their life. Loving someone you can’t have will never be easy, but it doesn’t mean you should put yourself through more pain. This means you should condition your mind – and especially your heart to not expect anything more than what they’re providing you with.

Don’t demand anything more than what’s given to you, because it’s likely that they’ll say no. Simply focus on enjoying every minute with them without the expectation of anything more than your current relationship.

Stop focusing on how they’re spending time with their partner afterward. Just appreciate what they can offer you and don’t expect more.

# Don’t ask questions that could hurt you

We just love asking questions that could potentially hurt us. You need to stop obsessing over your need to know everything.

In the first place, asking whether they love you or whether you have a chance with them are already questions you know the answer to.

We know that the heart can blind logic out of the equation, but you already know the answers to the questions you want to ask them. Don’t keep asking questions in the hope that they’ll change their answer someday. Your goal is acceptance and clarity so these questions aren’t going to be of help.

# Divert your attention to hobbies

There’s no better way to distract the pain of loving someone you can’t have by focusing on your hobbies. This is your chance to focus on the things you love doing, whether it’s music, painting, or even working out. The important thing is you don’t sit around with your feelings all day and dwell on your heartbreak.

Just get out of bed, go to a craft shop—or wherever else you can—and get your hands movin’. Your hobbies are also a great way to express your feelings through your personal form of art.

It doesn’t have to be anything big – your hobbies can be anything as long as they distract you long enough from your heartbreak. Rather than crying all over your feelings, why not trying being productive instead?

# Be a real friend, but protect your feelings

Yes, be their friend, but you’re allowed to say no if it’s taking your unrequited feelings for granted. For instance, you can’t be their shoulder to cry on when they had a fight with their partner or they broke up.

You’re not that person for them, so don’t give them that satisfaction. Loving someone you can’t have is already painful enough, so stop giving them your everything. Given that love can sometimes cloud your better judgment, don’t act as if it’s okay for them to come to you when it’s convenient for them.

If it’s breaking your heart further, then it’s not worth it. At some point, you need to realize that putting yourself first is far more important than being their friend.

It’s okay to listen to them talk about their frustrations with the person they love, but it’s another thing if that’s all you talk about and you’re even helping them plot the perfect surprise party for their beloved.

You’re not being selfless and a martyr you’re putting yourself through a lot of unnecessary pain.

# Be surrounded by friends

If you realize how easy it is to isolate yourself when you’re going through something, you’d really appreciate the times when you surround yourself with friends. No matter how easy this is to do, avoid giving in to the desire to lock yourself in your room and dwell on your feelings.

While this is normal and something you may want to do, it’s not exactly healthy. This might be okay during the first few days of finding out you’re loving someone you can’t have, but any longer than that isn’t healthy. You need your best friends to lift you and remind you that there really are others better suited for you.

There’s nothing like pondering and laughing about your situation over a couple of beers. You need to be around the right company just so your heartbreak doesn’t feel as bad as it actually is.

# Stay away from hurtful situations

If you know that they’re going to be with their partner at a party, don’t show up. Why would you? Stop destroying your heart just because your love for them is more than the pain you feel. Love shouldn’t work that way, especially unreciprocated love.

You know the truth of the situation, which means there’s no reason to torture yourself. Love shouldn’t be self-sabotaging in a way you find ways to hurt yourself even more.

Why must you do this to yourself? You deserve so much better than tolerating a love you can never have. Sleeping all day or binge-watching your favorite TV show is so much better than seeing the person you love with somebody else.