6 Ways To Reconnect With Your Old Friends

Learning how to reconnect with old friends is not as easy as 1-2-3. I am sorry to tell you that there is not a checklist for you to follow. But, it is possible. With determination and an actual desire to befriend someone from your past, it can happen.

Sometimes it can be easier than making a new friend because you already have a past to reconnect to. You have a history together, things to reminisce about, and all of that is an anchor to reconnection.

Depending on how things ended between you two, it can be tricky. Was there a fight? Did you simply drift apart? Think about how you left things in order to consider where to pick up.

Every single friendship is different and special in its own way. Some friendships need brutal honesty while others need kindness and forgiveness. Some friends ignore any past drama and move forward while others need closure before picking up where they left off.

# Social media

Thanks to social media, reconnecting with old friends is easier than ever before. Not only does this help you find a way to reach out if you no longer have their number, but it can clue you into their current status.

If you are going out every weekend and you see that your old friend has three kids and two dogs and a house in the suburbs, maybe your rekindled friendship won’t be so great. Social media helps you keep in touch on the surface level. But to truly reconnect you must do more than like a photo here or there.

I would also recommend making your initial contact private. Instead of commenting on your old friend’s photo of brunch, direct message or text them. Let them know their latest post made you want to reach out and see how they are. Use all the resources you have at your disposal.

# Keep it casual

Sure, some reconnections require serious conversation, but many can pick up where they left off naturally. Let this person know you are in the area or something made you think of them and ask to hang out.

It does not need to be some big thing. Just hanging out like you used to can reconnect you with an old friend easily. There is not always a need for a heartfelt explanation or apology for the time it has taken you to say something.

Friendships can be seasonal. They can last and pause and start right back up without drama or chaos. My best friend and I were hours apart in college, so we sort of lost touch. But once she moved back to the area she reached out, we went shopping, and everything is the same as it always was.

# Don’t force it

Friendship, just like a relationship, cannot be forced. You may be wondering how to reconnect with old friends, but a few of your old friends may have no interest in reconnecting. Whether there is bad blood or they are just simply busy, let it go if it isn’t working.

If they cancel plans one or two times, let them know you are serious about reconnecting and value your friendship. If they still cannot commit to a friend date, move on to someone else.

# Talk about it

On the flip side, some old friendships require an explanation. When you both didn’t just lose touch or move apart, but something felt weird, it can be tense to reconnect without breaking through that ice.

One of my closest friends and I didn’t speak for over a year. We never had a fight or anything, but our lives drifted into two different directions. During that time we both wanted to reach out, but we just didn’t. Later on, I texted her to say I missed her. We talked for hours about how different our lives were and how much it sucked not talking every day.

Since then she has moved across the world, and we still talk every day. Sometimes you just need to let out the awkwardness to get past it.

# Make a plan

As much as texting and social media can help us to reconnect with old friends, sometimes actually seeing one another is necessary. So instead of catching up in mile-long texts, make a plan to meet for coffee or go to your old favorite spot.

Try not to go to a movie or concert where you won’t get a chance to talk. Reconnection with an old friend is more than sitting next to each other for a few hours.

# Stick to the plan

Make sure not to cancel. We have all ran into an old friend, planned to meet up, and for some reason or another it never panned out. Do not let that happen here. If you really want to reconnect with an old friend, keep your plans.

You may be in bed an hour beforehand dreading leaving your house, but once you are face to face you will be so glad you reconnected and kept those plans.