7 Biggest Signs Of Emotional Maturity To Focus On

There are people who are 19 but act as if they are 20. There are also people who are 20 and make 10-year-olds look mature. Emotional maturity is not about puberty or age; it is about your ability to handle adult feelings.

Emotional maturity is different for everyone. It isn’t just about your childhood or relationships. It comes from all of the time you have walked the earth. It is about the things that you have gone through and your life experiences.

Some of us are forced to grow up quickly due to life circumstances. And some of us are coddled so that we don’t grow up at all. Even having a high school job can offer emotional maturity that someone who was a bit spoiled would be lacking.

But, having a decent level of emotional maturity is vital to having happy and healthy relationships. It is what not only lets you face your own emotions head-on, but helps you understand others too.

Your emotional maturity is the ability that you have to deal with situations and to communicate with other people. It is about how well you can manage your life and understand what is going on around you. Having emotional maturity is having the ability to handle your emotions.

# They take responsibility for their actions

There is nothing that takes more emotional maturity than to admit when you are wrong. We all want to be right. It hurts your ego to admit you were wrong and to take accountability for your actions and words.

Someone who has emotional maturity can realize that being wrong is a part of being human. They have a level of humility that allows them to understand their mistake and admit it. The key is to not only recognize when you’re wrong, but also be able to acknowledge it outwardly.

Letting others know you made a mistake and own that shows you are able to live without being perfect. You know that is part of life and take a lesson from these moments instead of fighting them.

The stubbornness that comes with the need to be right is dangerous to all kinds of relationships. If you are still willing to go down with the ship just to prove that you were right, you aren’t ready for a mature relationship.

# Being aware of your own biases

Being able to spot your own privilege is a major sign of emotional maturity. Most people live life from their own point of view and assume others have had the same opportunities. Taking the time to realize that the things you may judge others for are out of their control takes a lot of courage.

No one wants to admit they had it easier than someone else. No one wants to realize that the world is so broken. But, being able to remove blame from others and call yourself out when these stereotypes or prejudices arise, shows your ability to put reality above your comfort.

What that means is that you can see someone else’s situation and realize that we all have our own challenges. We all have biases that guide the way that we think, but it takes emotional maturity to admit that our thought process is skewed. Being able to admit that you are judging people without cause is something even very emotionally mature people struggle with.

# They think before they react

Who you are isn’t about what happens to you, but how you react to it. We are hardwired to react to things with the first emotions that arise. It can be incredibly hard to take a breath, think rationally, and figure out the consequences before reacting. When you are immature, you don’t think about the consequences of your actions or reactions.

When a child throws a tantrum in a store because their parent wouldn’t buy them a toy, they don’t think about how that reaction will cause them punishment. They aren’t thinking that they’ll be put in time out or not be allowed dessert. They are only thinking of what they feel at that moment. Adults who do this have much greater fallout than no ice cream after dinner.

It takes growth and emotional maturity to look at the entire situation to make a rational decision before reacting. If you meet someone who is quick to react, or more importantly, overreact, then you should probably look elsewhere for a partner.

# Being vulnerable

No one wants to get hurt. In fact, our instincts are all based on avoiding pain and finding pleasure. The thing about making yourself vulnerable is that you are allowing your guard to be down and leaving yourself unprotected.

It takes someone with emotional maturity to recognize that sometimes to find love, you have to give it. And that means putting yourself out there, and possibly getting hurt. People lacking emotional maturity will have trouble admitting their emotions, because they are putting their fear of rejection ahead of their desire for a true connection.

Being able to recognize that you will be okay even if things don’t go your way is a big part of growing your emotional maturity. When your first relationship ends it can feel like you are physically dying and that your life is over. But, eventually, breakups don’t feel like the end of the world, at least not for long.

With time and experience, you realize that you are strong enough to handle those intense emotions in a healthy and mature way.

# Having empathy

Empathy is the way that we can feel for others. Although you are not in the same position, you can feel the emotions of the people around you. Someone with emotional maturity can see a situation and put themselves into the position of the people involved to know how they feel.

This is usually seen in someone who is good at comforting or offering advice. If you are drawn to those in pain and have a desire to help them, odds are you have emotional maturity. People who have high levels of empathy thrive in jobs like teaching, therapy, and nursing.

Another sign of emotional maturity through empathy is having a concern for others. You want to feel what their feeling so you can help.

# Asking for help

A person who possesses emotional maturity is someone who isn’t afraid to admit when something is too much, and they need help. Think about a 2-year-old who wants to do everything on their own. They want to prove to the world that they can do it all.

Someone who goes to a new job and has trouble asking for help thinks it is a sign of defeat to not know everything. They don’t want to seem incapable. The thing is, when you have emotional maturity, you are able to admit that you need help, and not while gritting your teeth. You know that asking questions is a sign of strength and openness.

It shows you are open to learning and growing. Assuming you know how to handle everything a relationship will throw at you prevents you from growing. Thinking you can face it without help isn’t a sign of your ability, but a lack of communication.

# You pick your battles

Some battles are worth fighting, and others are much better to wave the white flag. Someone who is emotionally insecure and immature will never just let someone “have it” and move on. They will stretch out a fight over something essentially meaningless because they want to win.

It only gets worse when they will try to win an argument by any means necessary. This can often include hitting below the belt. They want to have the last word. An emotionally mature person will realize that sometimes it is better to make someone happy and secure than to be right.

Why get into a screaming match about which superhero is better when you can just nod along and let them be happy? This level of compromise shows that you care about your partner’s happiness more than your desire to win. That is emotional maturity.