7 First Date Red Flags To Avoid

Before I get into all the first date red flags, remember that red flags are only red flags to some. Depending on what you’re looking for from your date, what could be a red flag to you could be a benefit for someone else.

For instance, if you want a serious relationship, hearing your date mention that they are on the road a lot and don’t have much time would be a red flag. But if you hope for something casual and don’t have a lot of free time that could be the perfect scenario for you.

So, with all these red flags I’m about to throw at you, keep your situation in mind. Consider what you’re looking for from your date.

# They are late without telling you

Sure everyone is late on occasion. Maybe they got stuck in traffic. But nowadays there is no excuse for not sending a quick text explaining.

If someone is late and acts like it doesn’t matter and don’t explain or apologize, they probably don’t appreciate your time or presence. For a first date when most people are on their best behavior, this is a major red flag.

# They don’t ask you anything

A first date red flag that can be commonly overlooked is someone that doesn’t ask you anything about yourself. They not only talk about themselves the whole time, but they also don’t ask you about your job, interests, or family. Sure, some people get nervous on a first date and word vomit. If they are interested in you in the slightest, they will want to know more.

# They’re on their phone

If someone can’t meet you for drinks for an hour and stay off their phone, there is a reason for it, and usually not a good one. Unless this person is a firefighter or doctor on call, being on their phone during a first date is a huge red flag.

They clearly are not making this date a priority nor are they realizing how rude their behavior is.

# They’re too into you

We have all been nervous with someone right off the bat, but being too eager too soon is a major first date red flag. Not only is it insincere to like someone that you barely know, but it can also be a form of manipulation called love-bombing.

If your date falls all over you with compliments and makes romantic plans for the future, slow things down or end them right there.

# They’re problematic

If your date makes a racial slur, says they don’t believe in feminism, or even makes a sexist joke, it is a bad sign. I was once on a date with a guy who went on and on about how boys shouldn’t kiss their dads any age after two. I found it super weird, but overlooked it, which I shouldn’t have.

That really rubbed me the wrong way and felt like major toxic masculinity, which it was, and instead of paying attention to that red flag I let it go on longer and paid the price.

# They have no manners

If your date is rude to the waiter, valet, or even to you, that is not a good sign. I am not saying they need to lay down the red carpet for you and be the most polite person in the world, but they should be respectful to those around them.

Saying please and thank you to the waiter is not too much to ask. If they can’t even mutter up basic manners now, don’t expect them to get any better from here on out.

# They complain about their ex

I wholeheartedly believe talking about your past relationships on a first date is totally okay, in moderation. If you mention that your last relationship ended a year ago, that is beneficial. If you say you learned a lot about yourself from your last relationship, wonderful.

But, if your date complains about their ex, not a good sign. It shows that they may not be over them and that they are bitter. If your date mentions how their ex cheated on them briefly, it is fine. But, when they go on about how crazy their ex is, it is a major first date red flag telling you that they are probably the crazy one.