7 Major Signs You Are Not Ready For Marriage

Marriage is a big step and shouldn’t be entered into lightly. Looking for signs you’re not ready for marriage is a good idea before you go too far. I don’t want to assume, but if you were looking for this article, there may be a chance you’re feeling the signs you’re not ready for marriage. Now, it could also mean you have cold feet or just aren’t sure. And guess what? That is totally normal.

Almost everyone who is about to get married is worried they are not ready for marriage. Just like graduating from high school or going into your first job, marriage is a big step. You want to make sure you are ready.

# You care more about the wedding than the marriage

We see this quite often, don’t we? There is an entire TV show dedicated to it. Sure, it is easy to fall into the glamour and excitement of a wedding. There is so much to do. I don’t blame you for being upset that the caterer canceled or that your second cousin can’t make it.

But, if the wedding plans are taking over your relationship, you may not be ready for marriage. Your priority when getting married should be the marriage and the relationship, not the party. Focus on it for sure, but if you give it more attention than the marriage, you may not have your priorities straight.

# You’re settling

No one wants to admit that the person they committed to is not right for them. You have invested all this time and don’t want it to be for nothing. Plus, you may think that being with them is better than being alone. They may not be right for you, but they are a good person.

But, since when is being a decent person a reason to get married? When is not wanting to be lonely a reason for getting married? If you catch yourself thinking something like, this could be worse, you may not be ready for marriage, at least not with that person. [Read: Why get married? The worst reasons to tie the knot]

# You’re flirting

We all have lapses of judgment. Maybe you flirt with the guy in accounting or the lady in the elevator. It happens from time to time. Sometimes we don’t notice it or think anything of it, but if you are flirting with someone other than your partner regularly, you may still be playing the field.

Sure, you know you won’t actually act on it, but if you are looking for a connection or a moment with someone else you are showing signs you’re not ready for marriage.

# You avoid the big things

This is something so many people avoid before marriage. You may not want to stir the pot or bring up negative or iffy subjects before the big day, but that is the exact time to do so.

If you are considering marriage, discuss the big things. Talk about your future, money, religion, beliefs, your plans, kids, etc. These conversations cannot be put off before a marriage. Don’t assume you know what your partner wants or that you want the same things.

If having these talks scares you more than what will happen if you get married before having these talks, you are not ready for marriage.

# You let everything get to you

You know those days where work was awful and you come home and take it out on your partner by yelling at them about the trash? If these days are taking over your life as of late, you may be showing an underlying sign of not being ready for marriage.

Marriage is about compromise. You meet halfway. You make sacrifices for one another. But if everyday things are getting to you, so much so that fights about doing dishes turn into one of you sleeping on the sofa, you are not ready for marriage.

But, the good news is you can be ready for marriage. If things like this are happening, couples therapy can do wonders for your relationship and get you ready for marriage.

# You question their motives

Do you lay next to your partner at night and wonder if they really love you? Do you wonder if they are out to get your money? Do they try to control you? Is something eating at you?

If you question your partner before a marriage, it will not go away by saying, “I do.” In fact, it will likely get worse because you have more to lose. Sure, marriage is about love, but trust and love go hand in hand. If you don’t trust your partner, you are not ready to marry them.

# You won’t compromise

As I just said, compromise is a big part of having a successful relationship or marriage. Both of you need to be able to set aside trivial things to benefit the relationship.

If you are not willing to make sacrifices or even put your partner first sometimes, you are not ready for marriage. This is one of the things we notice in divorced couples. At first, you are high on the beginning stages of a relationship. You are happy to give and give, but once that wears off couples expect things to stay the same.

The thing is, relationships are not easy. They require work, effort, communication, and sacrifice. And if you or your partner are not willing to do that, even before the nuptials, there is a very good chance that things will only get worse.