7 Reasons Why He Will Not Change

Do you ever find yourself rolling your eyes and wondering why won’t he change?! Whether he never helps around the house, leaves you on read, or drinks too much, it can be a lot to put up with. Even when you build up the courage to ask him, nothing changes.

The worst part is that he says he will. He may even promise. And he may even give you hope for a few days or weeks by being the perfect gentleman, but it wears off and you’re back to square one. Why?Does he not love you enough? Is he incapable of change? Does he want to change? Does he hope you’ll just deal with it?

# Fear. Fear of change is real

I know it seems obvious to you that the relationship would be better off if he lived up to his word and your requests, but he has likely been this way for a long time.

He doesn’t know how changing will make him feel and that is his first priority.

# Capacity

Is he actually capable of changing? Not everyone is. Some people are set in their ways. No matter how much you love him and believe he can do better, if he doesn’t think he can, he won’t want to try and fail.

# Motivation

You may hope his love for you and your love for him is enough to make him change. You may expect that when you tell him that you need him to change, that’s all he needs to hear to do better. But, the sad truth is that many men are not motivated by your feelings.

No matter how much pain or annoyance you are going through due to his behavior, he will not be motivated by that unless it is causing him pain.

# Comfort

If you’re wondering why won’t he change, perhaps he’s comfortable the way he is and has no desire to alter it. He has likely had the behaviors that are bothering you since before you met. If he is happy with the situation and feels confident in himself he will not want to change.

# Annoyance

If you hope to change your man by asking, urging, or nagging, I’m sorry, but that won’t work. All this will do is annoy him and likely push him away. No matter how much you bug him or try to explain why you need him to change, it may just irritate him more than push him.

# Toxicity

He could just be a toxic person through and through. I’m sure you love him and he has a good side, but if he is manipulative or constantly lying, there is a good chance he won’t ever change.

No matter how much you beg or plead or hope, someone who is toxic will not change. They may lead you on to believe they will and that things will get better but that is just another sign of their toxic behavior.

# Pattern

You’ve been in a rut. If you ask him to change and he does but then falls back into old routines, this could be the pattern he is used to. If he apologizes for his bad behavior and you forgive him and he gets better then does it again, he knows what to expect.If you continuously forgive him and think he’ll change, he will know that the situation is working out fine for him and will squeeze all he can out of it.