7 Signs Of A Verbally Abusive Relationship That Can Help You Put An End To It

Nobody deserves to be in a verbally abusive relationship. Not only do they take a toll on you mentally, but they put you in a dangerous mindset that can derail other things in your life. The worst part about these types of relationships is that most people have no idea they’re in them.

I know you may be thinking that you’d probably know if you were being verbally abused, but sometimes the manipulation is so strong that you just don’t see it. The abuse can seem subtle but the effects will be harmful and lasting.

No one should ever have to live with being verbally abused. But if they don’t know it’s happening to them, how can they end it? Here are the signs of a verbally abusive relationship to keep an eye out for not only for yourself, but for the important people in your life. Once you know the signs, you can put an end to the abuse for good.

# Obvious insults

A verbally abusive partner will make clear insults. You won’t have to guess if it’s an insult because it’ll feel like a punch to the gut – from someone you care about. Anything like, “Why are you so stupid?” is a clear sign of a verbally abusive relationship and you shouldn’t put up with it.

# Backhanded insults

These are the types of insults that’ll be a little harder to pinpoint. Basically, they’ll be comments that you’ll end up thinking about later in the day and you’ll get upset about them.

Your partner may say something like, “great to see you’re finally taking care of yourself,” after you just returned from the gym. These might seem like compliments, but they’re clearly meant as a negative.

# Manipulation

Any form of manipulation is abuse in a relationship. The thing about this is that it’s the hardest to figure out. It’s not easy to spot because you’re being manipulated to not see it. If your partner is saying anything like, “Wow, you really seem to like those shoes. Wouldn’t you rather wear them less so they don’t get worn out?” it’s manipulation.

When they try to get you to do something for them while trying to make you think it’s a good idea for you, it’s manipulation and it’s wrong.

# Making fun of your beliefs, hobbies, etc

There are so many people who do this to their partner and it’s really, really harmful. Your significant other should never put down the things that make you who you are. If they’re “poking fun” at your hobbies and beliefs, it’s verbal abuse.

# Negative comments about a group you belong to

This can be a wide variety of things specifically like race, religious, groups, and more. The thing that makes this less obvious is when they add, “But I don’t mean that about you.” However, they do mean it about you and it’ll resonate in your mind in that way.

# Negative comments about stuff or people you love

This is most commonly seen when your partner is talking about your family or some object that means a lot to you. If they make any negative comments about stuff that means a lot to you, it’s verbal abuse. [Read: How to deal with negative people in your life]

# Indirect comments that make you feel stupid or inadequate

If you walk away from a conversation with your significant other and feel stupid and inadequate, then they’re verbally abusing you with what they say. You should never feel this way and if they make you, it’s abuse.