7 Subtle Signs Of An Unhappy Marriage

When you become comfortable with someone, it’s easy to become TOO comfortable. You stop making an effort, you let your sex life slide, and before you know it, it’s all become a little, well, boring. As more time ticks on, you might start to resent one another for how boring it’s all become. You start to slip into a loveless marriage, perhaps. Are we making you feel a little down? It’s not intentional, but it’s important to understand how paying a little attention to your relationship can lead you towards spotting the signs of an unhappy marriage.

You see, just because you’ve put a ring on it, doesn’t mean that you’re set for life. Marriage is hard work. You need to work every day to keep things on track and to make things better than before. A lack of effort can easily lead to resentment and unhappiness. If you’re in a marriage or even in a long-term relationship, keep an eye on these subtle signs. You may accept them as a part and parcel of every relationship, but in reality, they can tear your marriage apart over time.

# Emotional affairs

If you’re in a happy marriage, your partner should be your true confidant. You should be happy to communicate with them and share all the pleasant and sordid details of your life with them.

Do you feel more comfortable talking to someone else outside the marriage about your secrets? It may start off as an emotional release, but it will eventually get in the way of marital bliss.

# The no-complaints relationship

There are a few relationships where both partners have no complaints about each other at all because they completely understand each other and their individual points of view. They get along perfectly.

If you’re experiencing this grand state of telepathy in your marriage, that’s awesome!

But if you’re in a marriage where you do find faults with your husband or wife, and yet, choose not to talk about it with them because it’s just not worth the effort, that’s not good.

When you lose hope of ever changing the situation or helping them see their flaws, you’re in the no-complaints relationship. Over time, these little annoyances could lead to huge frustrations in your marriage.

# You have needs that aren’t met

Almost all the time, you find ways to satisfy these needs yourself, be it sexual or emotional. But at the same time, you may constantly find yourself grumbling or whining within your own mind about how much better it could have been if your partner was more involved in satisfying your needs.

It’s a two-way street and in order for your marriage to be happy and healthy, both of you need to have your needs met equally.

You have too many needs

This is the flipside to the previous sign of an unhappy marriage, but it is a valid point too. Sometimes, two lovers just have different needs. And you may have needs that just can’t be fulfilled by your partner.

So what do you do then? Do you compromise for the sake of your marriage or do you walk away? There’s a thin line between expectations and reality.

Communicate with your partner and talk to your friends. If your needs seem justified, you have a right to expect them from your partner. If your needs seem to be high-maintenance, you need to decide what holds more value to you – your needs or your marriage.

# You’re living separate lives

One of the clear signs of an unhappy marriage is when your marriage turns into a roommates-arrangement. Both of you lead individual lives. In a happy marriage or a long-term relationship, it doesn’t matter how distant both your career or life paths are, both of you have to understand one another and be willing to offer a shoulder.

Many people don’t make the effort to understand more about their partner’s work life and their daily experiences, and yet wonder why they’re drifting apart.

Always remember this – if you can’t offer the emotional support your partner needs, they may look to someone else to get that same support.

# Lusty minds

You could be in a relationship with one person and still find yourself getting sexually attracted to someone else now and then. But do you talk about this little crush you have, or do you hide the secret, all the while spinning secret fantasies in your head?

If you have a crush on someone else or consider some person to be physically attractive, you shouldn’t have difficulty talking about it with your partner if you’re in a secure and happy marriage.

Hiding this secret interest, on the other hand, could leave you annoyed because you’ll feel guilty and at the same time, feel more distant from your spouse.

In a secure relationship, both partners talk about their crushes and sexual fantasies with someone else without really feeling awkward about it. As long as there’s no intention to act upon them, there’s no problem.

# Different life directions

If you’re in an unhappy marriage, you’ll see a lot of conflicting differences in both your perspectives towards life and your goals in life.

This is something most college sweethearts that don’t communicate well end up facing as the years pass by.

When two people come together in a marriage, they communicate with each other and their goals start to align to form one common goal.