7 Things Couples Should Do Before Having Kids

Speak to any parent and they will probably tell you that having children is one of the most fulfilling things that they have ever done. Some may even tell you that being a parent was what they were made to do. But don’t swallow that bullshit lying down.

If anyone tells you that their biggest accomplishment was to procreate, you know that they’re fibbing to make themselves feel better. Having kids is hard work and, honestly, not for everyone.

From the way you dress, to the way you think, to the way you talk and walk, you have to be prepared to have children before actually doing it. You may have a secure job, a cushy bank account, a comfortable home, and a loving partner, but that doesn’t mean you need to have kids. However, if you have already made up your mind and are absolutely certain that you want children, by all means: go right ahead. Before you do, though, there are many things that you need to get out of the way.

# Envision your future with kids

Reflect on your time as a couple and think about whether you really want to change what you have. Unlike buying a new dress, children cannot be returned. Once they pop out into your world, you have to stick with them until they are ready to leave. I cannot stress enough how important it is to be absolutely sure that you both want children before having them.

# Spend time around kids

It could be your nieces and nephews, or children of friends, but no matter who they belong to, it is important that you spend plenty of time with them. Babysitting is not the same as having your own, but at least it will give you a feel for it.

# Talk about kids

Be sure to talk about kids with your partner all the time. Inject them into conversations, plans for the future, and everyday life. It will give both of you the chance to envision what your lives will be like with them around.

# Be financially prepared

It is no secret that raising kids is very expensive. You need to plan not just for your future as a couple but for your kid’s future. Be sure that you’re financially able to welcome another member into your household before diving in. Also, open a separate savings account and regularly contribute to it. It will take a load off your shoulders when your kid is ready for college.

# Set long term goals

Planning for kids isn’t like planning for the weekend. It is a very important decision, and what you decide leaves no room for screw-ups. Be sure that you and your partner secure long term goals. Decide where you want to live, who will be the breadwinner, how to handle the financial stress, and so on.

# Find a base

Children raised in stable households fare better than those who are not. As wonderful as it is to move around every year, it is best for your child if you provide security and routine. You and your partner need to decide where you want to raise your child before anything else.

# Exhaust career goals

It takes years to climb to the top of the ladder, and many people live their whole lives never doing so. Be sure that you exhaust your career goals—or at least try your best to before having kids. The last thing you want is to secretly resent your kids for trading in the title of CFO for Vomit Cleanup Master.