7 Things You Are Doing To Keep Yourself Single

We have all walked past mismatched couples in the street and thought, “How the hell did she score a guy like that?” or thought nasty thoughts like, “She’s with him because he’s loaded.” Don’t even bother denying it. That’s what humans do best. We question, we complain, we compare.

We have all been in loveless slumps. This is when everyone around us seems to be bursting with joy in their relationships, and we end up sitting at home all alone, raking our brains and trying to figure out why we’re single. You may think that you’re absolutely divine, but what you think you’re projecting to the world and what you are actually projecting may be two different things.

This could explain why you’re still single. More often than not, your single status has to do with your attitude, not so much what you look like or what you do for a living. Too many people focus on the materialistic stuff and not what really counts, so when it’s time for them to go on the prowl for a potential mate, they fail miserably, and come home empty-handed.

# You think you’re not good enough

If you have been single for a while, there’s a very good chance that you have this awful habit of telling yourself that you’re not good enough for that cute barista, for that hot accountant at work, for the gym instructor with the abs of steel, or for anyone else, for that matter. If you think you’re not good enough, then every potential partner who comes your way will think that you’re not good enough, too.

Confidence is key when trying to score a mate, so be sure to exude it from every pore. It doesn’t matter if you’re not the sexiest, if you’re not the funniest, if you’re not the smartest, or if you’re not the best-looking person in the room. All that counts is how confident you are about how you look and feel. It will shine through, and you will be the flame that all the moths are drawn to.

# You think you don’t deserve a relationship

You’ll be surprised at how superstitious some people can be. I have a friend who blames karma for being single. She thinks she doesn’t deserve a good relationship because she treated her last boyfriend like dirt. Hence, the universe is retaliating by keeping her single as punishment.

I’ve never heard so much horse crap in my life, and I straight up told her so. Of course she got offended, but hopefully, that snapped her out of her silly mindset. [Read: How to get your self-esteem back after a breakup]

# You think you’re not ready

You need to stop telling yourself that you’re not ready for a relationship. By constantly telling yourself that, you’re just messing with your mind and turning that nonsensical thought into reality. I will be the first to admit that digging yourself out of the darkness after a hard breakup is very difficult. However, you must relearn how to put yourself out there, and leave the past behind.

Heartbreak sucks, but you cannot let it hold you back from finding someone new. If you keep clinging on to the past, you will never experience a brand new future.

# You’re obsessed with timing

I personally think that people who use “timing” as an excuse for not getting into a relationship are kidding themselves. There’s no such thing as “the right time.” There are some exceptions, of course, and they include still being married, being bankrupt, or dealing with mental issues. Anything other than those signifies cowardice.

Life is short, and you don’t know if you’ll even have tomorrow to play with. It’s all about ups and downs, and there will never be a time when everything is absolutely perfect. If perfection is what you’re waiting for, then you’ll be single forever. Stop hesitating when it comes to matters of the heart because if you don’t jump in, you’ll never know just how great it could be.

# You’re a gossip monger

As the saying goes, “What Susie says of Sally says more of Susie than of Sally.” No one wants to date someone with a big mouth and bad attitude, so be sure to vanquish that habit today. Keep your life and the lives of those around you drama-free, and you’ll find that potential partners will be more eager to date you.

# You’re too picky

Stop finding fault with everything and everyone. Being a high maintenance diva is not a good look on you or on anyone else, for that matter. If you’re picky, you’re going to drive some real gems away. Finding fault in everything and everyone will only work against you. For example, if you complain about how he dresses or what she does for a living, you can rest assured that you’ll be single for a long time. No one will be good enough for you if you don’t let the little things go.

# You have impossible expectations

Sure, everyone wants to date a Ryan Gosling or Cara Delevigne, but that’s not going to happen. Snap back to reality, and stop envisioning the impossible. So what if he’s a little soft around the edges? He has a good heart, and he will always be kind to you. So what if she talks too loudly in restaurants? She’s funny and makes you laugh.