7 Tips To Deal With A Lying Husband

Marriages are built on open communication, trust and honesty. These are the fundamentals of any relationship.You start off on cloud nine, completely loved up and utterly besotted.As your marriage continues, it becomes a security blanket of mutual trust, honest and communication. But what happens when he starts lying to you? You can’t trust someone who isn’t telling you the truth, even if those lies are seemingly innocent.

# Work out when he’s lying to you

You know your husband is lying to you, but do you catch it in the moment, or after he’s done? It’s important to try and pick up on it as it’s happening.

If you ask behavioural specialists, they’ll tell you there are tell-tale signs when someone is lying to you. It’s all in their body language.

# Ask them to tell their story backwards

Ok, so now you’re well equipped to catch him out when he’s lying, so what’s the best way to deal with it? We have a few tricks up our sleeve to help you out and put him on the spot.

One of these is to ask him to tell his story in reverse. There has been some research to suggest that if you ask someone to tell their story backwards – and not in chronological order – they’re more likely to slip up on their lie.

Let’s face it, telling a lie is much more stressful than telling the truth.

# Consider why he is lying

Now that you are certain he is lying to you and know how to catch him out in the moment, consider exactly why he might be lying to you. People lie all the time. In fact, a 2004 Reader’s Digest poll found that at least 96% of people admitted to lying at some point. Generally, people lie to hide something from you.

It could be something small, like he ate the leftovers in the fridge that were meant for dinner.

# Don’t blame yourself

So, you know that he’s lying and you’re pretty sure you know why. Before you confront him about it, there’s one thing you need to tell yourself. It’s important that you don’t blame yourself for these lies.

If he’s cheating on you, it’s not your fault. If he’s been meeting friends behind your back, it’s not your fault. If he’s been telling white lies to make himself sound better, it’s not your fault.

It’s so easy to see yourself as the reason they lie – even when you have nothing to do with it. You almost become the scapegoat for the lies they have told.

# Plan the conversation

There’s no point attacking your husband when he lies. If he’s caught out in a lie and called up on it, he’s likely to get defensive and start lashing out at you.

There’s no good that will come out of this type of confrontation. Instead, think the conversation through before having it.

What do you want to get out of confronting him?

If it’s something serious – such as he’s cheating on you – then you need to consider your own emotions first before confronting him.

# Open up to him

Now’s the time to open up an honest conversation about the lies. While it’s tempting to simply demand he stops lying to you – it’s never that simple. Make sure you go into the conversation calmly and rationally. If you’re feeling worked up or particularly angry, it’s best to walk away and attempt the conversation at a later date. It won’t get you anywhere.

# Consider how your relationship has been affected

Now that the lies are out in the open, it’s time to consider the affect they’ve had on your relationship. This means you need to consider how big the lie was and whether or not it has changed the way you feel about it. A little white lie is unlikely to change the way you feel. However, if he’s been seeing someone behind your back and lying about it, that might.