8 Effects Of Being The Child Of A Narcissist

Do you know people who are selfish and full of themselves? You know the ones. We all do. They are always taking selfies, talking about themselves, and rarely care about other people. Yup, they’re everywhere. But are they all narcissists?

Simply put, a narcissist thinks they are the center of the universe. They are only concerned with themselves, and rarely show any empathy or compassion for other people. But the important thing to remember is that it’s not an all-or-nothing deal. It’s not like you’re either a narcissist or you’re not.

People can have narcissistic tendencies, but not necessarily be a full-blow narcissist. In some ways, narcissism exists on a continuum. But for the purpose of our discussion in this feature, let’s first take a look at some of the prime characteristics of a narcissist.

# Low self-esteem

If your parent is always blaming you for everything, not taking personal responsibility, and always needs the attention on them, well, where does that leave the child? Nowhere. The kids are basically non-existent. And, of course, that doesn’t build up anyone’s self-esteem.

# People-pleasers

Being a child of a narcissist, you never can get the approval of your parent. They always want the attention on themselves, and they’re also criticizing you. So many kids turn out to be people-pleasers just so they can get some self-affirmation and make people happy – something they didn’t get at home.

# No sense of self

When your childhood home life revolves around your narcissistic parent, then how is it possible to find out who you are and what you should become? No one ever asks you about YOU. So, a child of a narcissist is likely to be lost and not really know who they are.

# Lack of life direction

Are you seeing a pattern here? With a child of a narcissist, there was probably no parent there to help guide them through life decisions.

Let’s face it – kids don’t know where to go or what to do on their own *or at least not many*. So we rely on parents to help us. But not the child of a narcissist. They’re on their own.

# Lack of boundaries

A boundary is when you draw the invisible line of what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. The child of a narcissist never learned this. So, this filters into their relationships later in life. They don’t know what behavior to accept and what behavior they shouldn’t.

# Anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues

Can you even imagine what it’s like getting constantly put down, ridiculed, and ignored? Or to not know when your parent will explode? Yeah, it’s no surprise that the child of a narcissist sometimes has mental health issues.

# Problems with trust

A narcissist is not trustworthy. If you review the six characteristics that they possess discussed above, it’s no wonder a child of a narcissist grows up with trust issues. I wouldn’t trust anyone either if I was raised by someone like that.

# Difficulty maintaining healthy relationships

Narcissists do not have healthy behavior in general, but especially when it comes to relationships. As a child of a narcissist, you don’t know any different. What you see growing up is “normal” to you. So, they need to learn new skills before they can have healthy relationships.