8 Flirting Tips For Socially Awkward People

In today’s society, both awkwardness and being single seem to be afflictions. So, if you are both awkward and single, you probably feel like you are doomed to be forever alone.

After all, it you’re even remotely socially awkward, approaching a person you have a crush on and flirting is most likely far from being one of your strengths. Some people are gifted flirters and smooth talkers, and can get any guy or girl they like to talk to them.

But it doesn’t seem fair that just because you’re a little nervous and are incapable of delivering an awe inspiring pick up line, that you shouldn’t be able to have a chance with your crush or the person of your dreams.

# Use your personal style and appearance

When you have a tendency to be a little awkward, you often feel as if you lack control over social situations and even over your own mind, especially when it comes to interacting with someone you like!

At the time, you are stumped as to what to say or how to act, and you hate yourself for it afterwards. Therefore, it is important to take as much control over any factors that you can work on before the chance for an interaction even arises.

# Counteract your awkwardness by choosing a more aggressive approach

One of the key elements of flirting is confidence, which just so happens to be a major issue for most socially awkward people. There is a quick and brave approach that cuts out the weeks of torment, looking over your crush’s Facebook page wondering if they feel the same way. Take a deep breath, muster as much courage as you possibly can, then approach your crush and simply tell them how you feel!

# Don’t talk about yourself

It can, sometimes, be tempting to blab constantly about yourself when you’re talking to your crush, simply because you don’t know what else to say, and in fear of an awkward silence.

Try not to monopolize the conversation with a constant stream of facts about yourself. Instead, ask simple and honest questions about the other person. There is no harm in planning out a few questions in your head before an interaction arises. What would you like to know about them? What do you think they would like to be asked about?

# Take a step back

If you use these tips, chances are, things are going well with your crush and all these tips are beginning to pay off. But this is not the time to get insecure or to appear too keen. Just because you’ve come this far does not mean it is time to stop playing it cool. Don’t let your emotions take complete control of the situation. You don’t need constant affirmation that things are going well for you, just believe it!

Take a step back, and give them time to wonder about you. I’m not usually a fan of “playing games” but there’s no harm in letting them stew a little! As someone once said, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Just cool off slightly, but not to the point that you begin to ignore them in the street! Remember, play it cool not COLD. It might be as simple as waiting an extra 15-20 minutes before you text them back. I guarantee that you will not only feel more in control, but you’ll also appear even more desirable to your love interest.

# Go out and about!

If you’re socially awkward, you might tend to be introverted and avoid making any kind of social plans. This is unlikely to be working in your favor. Don’t hide away! Perhaps, you happen to know that your crush likes to hang out at a certain bar or pub? Simply go there and have fun. No flirting involved. Remember, people are attracted to positive and fun people who like to have a good time! Be sure to take friends with you who you know will encourage that mentality.

# Use your awkwardness to your advantage

Stop telling yourself that your awkwardness is a bad thing, and turn it into an asset! Some people actually find awkwardness and shyness charming and attractive. So, play off on the hope that this might be the case with your crush!

There are several techniques that any awkward or shy person shouldn’t find challenging. Firstly, be coy and a little bashful. Try making eye contact with your love interest, hold it for a second, and then shyly look away. Perhaps you could awkwardly play with your hair whilst you talk with them?

# Get physical!

You might have a tendency to stare at the ground, retract into yourself, and avoid touching anything and anyone as if they are covered in germs, but it’s not going to help you in the flirting department. Tactile touching and physical contact is a key element of flirting.

Because it doesn’t come to you naturally, you have to practice, be brave, and make a conscious effort to loosen up and get a little physical. Perhaps start with eye contact, if it feels more comfortable. Practice holding their gaze occasionally for about a second longer than you usually would. Then, move on to accidentally-on-purpose brushing your hand with theirs as you walk. If you gain confidence, try gently touching their arm or hand whilst you talk.

# Observe and build on common experience

If you struggle to find the right thing to say, one of the best techniques is to observe and comment on your surroundings. What’s more, it is a great way to get closer with a person you like because you can build on things that you experience together, however small or insignificant you might believe the experience to be.

Perhaps you frequent the same coffee shop or attend the same lecture at university? Observe and mention funny little things about the experiences that you share which might then open a conversation, such as “have you noticed that their coffee is better on a Tuesday?” or “did you notice so-and-so fall asleep during that lecture?”